“You’re not scared now?” I asked, my voice shaky, barely audible.
“I’m terrified.” Cole laughed but it wasn’t out of amusement. It was the kind of laugh you laughed when trying not to break down. “I don’t know if it will happen again. If I will feel guilty and regretful again. I don’t want to disappoint you again. I don’t want to treat you like shit again, but I also know that I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop dreaming of you. Wanting to be with you. Samir, I never thought I’d fall in love again. Not aftereverything I went through. But… somehow, somewhere along the way, I did. With you. And it fucking scares the hell out of me, but I don’t… I don’t want to run anymore. At least not away from you. So if you think you can forgive me and take me back even though I’m a broken man who is still trying to put his own pieces back together and doesn’t know what might terrify him next, then please, Samir. Please take me?—”
I had heard enough. I grabbed him by his coat and pulled him back to me. Back to my mouth and my arms and my soul and held him there. I kissed him. I kissed him until my lips went sore, and even then, I didn’t stop.
“Woo-hoo. Go Samir!” someone cheered, and the sudden interruption made us stop and look around.
There was no one there. No one out in the streets that were starting to be covered in snow and no one in their windows looking at us.
“Oh, shit. They heard us,” someone else said, and I glanced at my doorbell.
“You two!” I growled at the device.
“You’re not alone?” Cole asked.
I shook my head.
“Not yet,” I answered and pulled Cole inside, closing the door behind him. “Can you stay a little? I’ll kick them out.”
He shook his head.
“Don’t do that on my account. I just… I needed to apologize,” he said and wiped his eyes. “And I just realized I haven’t yet. I’m so sorry, Samir. I didn’t mean to do that to you. I hated how Itreated you, and you should know that’s not me. I’ve never been like that. Which is why it was so scary that I acted like that. I couldn’t control myself or my emotions.”
I put my fingers to his lips and shushed him. First with my mouth, then with my tongue.
“Are you coming up?” I asked after a moment.
He licked his lip.
“If you want me.”
I smiled and pinched his cheek.
“Of course I do. But what about you? Ella? Don’t you need to go back?”
Cole’s chest rose and fell, and he stared at my lips before he said, “We’ve already had our dinner, and Ella’s gone to bed so…”
“We’ve got the night?”
He nodded.
I let out a deep breath, and my heart started racing again as I offered him my hand and pulled him upstairs.
By the time we’d climbed through the disused second floor shop space and climbed the second flight of stairs to my apartment, the girls were nowhere to be seen.
I didn’t know how they’d pulled their disappearing act, but I was grateful for it because it meant Cole and I were alone, here, in the middle of Mayberry Holm, with no secrets, no walls, and no fear.
Well, maybe a little bit of fear but weren’t the best things a little scary anyway?
“Hungry?” I asked, pointing at the table full of food too spicy for the cats to touch.
Except for Mr. Naughtington who kept licking the spicy leftover stew, the weirdo.
“Not for food, no,” Cole said so matter-of-factly I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Glad we’re on the same page again,” I said and took him by the hand, guiding us through my home and into my bedroom.
“Nice house,” he said, and I hummed.
