“Ease the ache, Zain. Use me.”
He roars to life and rips my panties from my body. He wiggles free of his boxers and doesn’t hesitate. He plunges inside me without foreplay. As if I needed it, I’m shamefully soaked for him. The stretch burns into a visceral delight. His piercings drag against my inner walls. I fist the silk sheets as he pounds mercilessly into me. He’s a dangerous drug, and I’m addicted. A tainted bliss. A carnal destruction.
“The voices silence when I’m inside you. Can’t remember the last time I felt this way,” he rumbles against my backside. His teeth graze my neck. He grabs something from the nightstand beside us. His fingers trace along my lips.
“Join me.” He slips a pill under my tongue. He forces my jaw closed until it dissolves.
His hands roam over my silky skin. “Cut me, Zain. Taste my sanguine flow. Lose yourself to me.”
He slams into me, then his teeth pierce my flesh. A shallow cry leaves my lips. Back-to-back oblivion racks my body. His touch sends a frisson of pleasure through my core. He’s awakened my inner being, shown me who I truly am.
His tongue swipes along my jaw, tasting my innermost secrets and desires.“Mine. Mine. Mine,” he repeats in desperate cries over and over, as if I’ll disappear from existence. He doesn’t fully grasp that I will never disown him. Ever. He’s a prisoner in his own mind. My irises roll back, revealing only the whites of my eyes. He rolls to his side, taking me with him. His cock is still lodged deep within my depths. His free hand snakes around to cover my neck. His other hand finds my clit. He pumps into me with deep, long strokes. His hot breath sends a shiver down my spine when he licks the shell of my ear. “Follow me into the darkness, Vesper. Into the abysmal depths of hell. Release me from the prison of my mind.”
His words send me plummeting into a vortex in the deepest reaches of my mind, throwing me into a sepulchral ecstasy. He joins me in the blissful peace, filling my insides with his sweet release.
“Yours,” I reassure him.
His body sags against me. This is the first time he’s held me, and though it’s for his own comfort it brings me solace.
The vast estate comes into view. The haunting reminder that was my prison for years. Vesper’s little hand reaches across the center console. Touch is still foreign to me. Not something I’m used to, but I’m gettin’ there.
“Zain, just know he did the best he could. He tried. That’s what matters. He continues to try.”
I block out her words. She doesn’t understand. She could never understand the feeling of being passed around because no one can fuckin’ handle your shit. What if the minute shit gets hard she leaves me too?
“Stop,” she says sharply. Her hand squeezes my thigh, making me grunt. “Don’t you dare shut me out, Zain. I see the wheels turning. You’re getting lost in your endless stream of thoughts again.”
I slam down on my molars. “Doesn’t matter.”
She digs her nails into my jeans. “I love you, Zain. I wish you could believe me.”
The whirlwind swirling in my insides threatens to eat me from the inside out. How can she possibly love someone like me? The words leave her mouth, as if it doesn’t scald her to do so.Love is a lie. Love is a toxic illusion that leads to feelings. All feelings do is cause emotionalattachment. But that’s exactly what I am already, isn’t it? Addicted to her. Need her to belong solely to me.
She’s silent as we pull into the gravel wraparound driveway. The voices come bubbling to the surface. I’m driving straight into the abyss. I tamp them down with a slow, measured breath. I stare mindlessly at my reflection in the rearview mirror. The same eyes, void of life, stare back at me. Darkness descends on the horizon in the background. The shadows of the trees sway in the distance. Vesper searches my face for answers but finds none.
I pitch forward out of the car, slamming the door closed behind me. Vesper takes the cue to exit. She stares up at Roland’s estate in awe. Shit is huge compared to Pearson’s. Her dress flutters in the wind, making her intoxicating scent waft in my direction. As much as I wanna fuck her to calm my inner demons, now isn’t the time or place. Gotta keep my shit together until we leave.
“Let’s go,” I bite, snatching her wrist. Her heels slap against the stone walkway as we approach the door.
With each step, my voices grow louder. The memories haunt me. Vesper stumbles behind me, as I drag her up the steps.
“Calm, Zain,” she breathes. Her green eyes offer promise. Safety. Never felt that.
The door creaks open and Roland appears in the doorway. His eyes drift over to Vesper, then to my suffocating grasp on her wrist.
“Ms. Santi, my condolences for your father…” He trails off. His eyes flicker back to me with confusion.
She tries to scoot around me to shake his hand, but I yank her behind me. I got trust issues.
Roland’s brow furrows. “Zain?” His eyes burn into me for an explanation. Might as well tell him. Never gonna hide her.
“This is my wife.”
He scrubs his hand over his face. “You best come inside.”
I nod and step inside the threshold. The same marble floor. The same velvet curtains and ornamental furniture. Nothin’ changes. My insides twist in revulsion. This was never home. Could never be. Never had one.
“Deep breaths,” Vesper’s voice whispers along my neck.
