“AndMother?”
He balks. “She killed herself. Zain was too much for her. The idea of being unable to fix him broke her, even years down the road. She watched him from afar and steadily noticed his rapid decline.”
I stay silent for a beat, piecing together everything from my life, including Zain’s hand in this. Did he know?
No…
I turn to Zain, searching for the truth. “So all of this was to kill Pearson? I was a pawn?” Now that my mind can straighten out everything, clarity comes to me. Heusedme. Am I still nothing but a means to an end?
Zain keeps his expression neutral as he dissects me, deciphering my emotions no doubt. Zain doeseverythingwith a purpose. “Yes.”
His truth stings. He grits his teeth as if in pain. I know he’s fighting his demons again.
But not just that, he’s fightingme. His feelings. “Did you know I was adopted?”
He nods slowly and with lack of remorse.
I slam my eyes closed and let out a bellowing shriek as I hunch over, gripping my matted, tangled hair. I disassociate.
“And you knew I was your damn sister?” I shout. “No,” he says in a low whisper.
That makes me feel better at least. If he knew, I don’t know what I’d do right now. I don’t trust myself. “You knew about Void?” I pant, trying to calm down.
“Only recently. I don’t speak to Roland,” he grits.
I still have so many unanswered questions. How did he not know about Void? How did he find out? What does this mean for Clara and me? She would never decline. She needs this scholarship. Knowing I’m safe brings me no solace.
His face twists and his eye twitches. I can tell the voices are speaking to him again. He must be processing this the same as me. I will myself to calm down for his sake.
“Don’t fight it,” I say, seeing his internal struggle.
He growls. “You don’t understand. The voices. They demand things. Sick, fucked-up shit.”
“Don’t let him in, Vesper. He’s toxic, a nihilistic instigator,” Pearson interrupts.
Zain snaps his head around and pulls his switchblade from his slacks again. “Shut your fuckin’ mouth. If it wasn’t for Vesper, I’d have killed you already. Only reason I haven’t is she deserves answers. Don’t misunderstand, your fate rests with me,Father.” That word on his tongue is like poison. His face says it all.
I approach him cautiously and take his hand with the blade in mine. We entwine. “Like what,” I whisper, hoping he will open just a tiny fraction.
His eyes darken. “To cut you. To fuck you. To drink your sanguine blood flow. They demand you in every fuckin’ way. Some violent. They enjoy your tears, your torment and pain.”
I swallow thickly. I’m not scared. I know he would never hurt me. Not really. Violence is his love language.
“What else?” I whisper, taking the blade from his grasp.
His gaze stays trained on the ground in a trance. “I like to hurt others if they touch you. I am a murderer, Vesper,” he confesses. I embrace every fucked-up detail of his inner workings. He’s theonlyone who’s been here for me. He’s all I have.
“Take your revenge, Zain.” Her haunted eyes offer promise.
My entire body fuckin’ seizes. Did…she…just…
“We. Are. One.” She repeats it like a mantra, rooting it in my psyche.My sister.My other fractured half.Mine. Never have I wanted to protect someone the way I do her.
Her once vibrant eyes now stare into my soulless depths with the same endless void of destruction that mine harbors. She looks to Pearson and hands me my switchblade with a fierce gentleness.
A strange mix of emotions coils within my center. I lead her over to the bed. “Stay.” My voice remains calm, but no less dark and fucked-up.
She nods. Knowin’ she’s as fucked as me deep down to her core, I still want to preserve her innocence a little longer. I kneel and reach inside my bag. I pull out one of my cotton shirts and stand before her. I fasten it around her eyes and tie it off. Her hands shake on her lap, and I grasp them.
