“One week!” Mr. Sterling’s deep voice pulls me back to reality. “One week to put on a perfect performance. Let’s begin.”
We start with Hans Zimmer and finish with “Carol of the Bells.” Rehearsal lasts a few hours. By the time we finish our final notes, my fingers are cramped.
After all the other students filter out, I close my eyes and lose myself in the music, getting in a few extra minutes of practice. My fingers throb and my voice is raw–a minor inconvenience I’m forced to ignore. My entire livelihood depends on this one performance.
I’m a freshman and if I fail, I’ll be overlooked for the next protégé candidacy, a detriment I cannot afford. This is my calling. My joints ache, but I press on. It’s the only way I can escape reality, and right now, I want nothing more than to disappear into the rhythm until I dissolve and the outside world becomes a blurred memory.
The echoing thud of the auditorium door rips me from my faraway trance, and I’m thrust into paralysis. Everything has me on the edge of my seat nowadays. The keys silence, and the final note echoes in the cavernous sanctum.
A shadow looms along the far back wall, against the textured wallpaper. It slowly makes its way up to the front and down the colonnade. The candelabras flicker over their body as they approach. The mysterious figure comes into view just under the flickeringcandlelight, and that’s when their glassy eyes meet mine. ‘Zain,” I say impassively.
His voice is detached, eyes vacant. “Don’t stop.”
My hands shake in my lap. Despite my hollow words, my insides are swimming with emotions. Being alone with an unpredictable wild animal has memories assaulting my mind. I’m still on high alert with everything that’s transpired.
“What do you want me to play?” I face the piano again, deliberately being anesthetized.
“Anything,” he says pensively, his voice louder as he approaches from behind me. The thud of his boots on the stage fill my ears. He’s like a lion closing in, caging his prey. Fear fills my insides, but I dodge it, focusing on my desire for music instead. The last time he had me alone here he ruined me in the best way. My heartbeat slows to a dull thrum, and I start playing Bach.
The footsteps stop, and his scent surrounds me. His hands send a spark of flame over my skin as they rest on my shoulders, making me jolt, missing a note. His scorching breath fans over my neck.
“Quiet my demons, songbird.”
“Melancholy doesn’t suit you,” I murmur against her neck, making her break out in a wave of goose bumps. I want to plunge into her stygian depths. The abysmal darkness that only she can bring me out from.Herdarkness feels welcoming. Like fuckin’ home.
I chuckle against her skin. “You hate the effect I have on you.”
She continues playing. As if she can distract herself from me. Won’t let her. “Bend over,” I instruct.
Her hand hovers over the last key, motionless. She swallows hard. I sense her ambivalence. Being the unfair fucker I am, I kiss down her neck with a tenderness Inevershow. Doesn’t mean shit. Gonna do whatever I need to get her to rely solely on me. My perfect plan threatens to shatter under this strange vortex. I blind myself with hate to stay on track.
She obeys willingly and stands on shaky legs. She can pretend she doesn’t love the darkness within me, but her affection is a silent veneration. We are one. Letting her go is no longer an option. Instead, I’ll have to do the unthinkable to be free of this invisible tether that holds us together.
“Open.”
I slip a molly under her tongue. She knows this song and dance. Good girl.Obey. “Undress,” I command.
Silence fills the amphitheater.
So I roughly undress her when she makes no move to follow my fuckin’ directions. Her body jerks with every violent tug of her clothes, pitching forward as her dark hair cascades down her front, covering her breast from my view. She braces herself on the piano, making the keys chime in a piercing crystalline staccato. I scan over her body and lick up her exposed spine. She shudders.Fuckin’ delicious. Before she can protest or lose herself in that mind of hers, I lower to my knees in front of her globed ass. I never get on my fuckin’ knees for any bitch, but for her this is the second time. A goddamn record. Gotta keep her on my string like a marionette. The minute she cuts the strings, I’ll fail the last few years of work. Fuck that. Gotta be two steps ahead.
“Admit you’re fucked-up just like me,” I whisper harshly against her cunt. Her body trembles. She screws her eyes shut as I give her a single taste of what I can offer. I lick up her slit, tasting her betrayal, her desire, and her fucking desperation. She’s weeping for me. She secretly loves my threatening, devious nature.
My demons rise to the surface, demanding I claim her the moment my tongue meets her silky goodness.
She’s yours. Drown in her. Sink into the profundity of her abyss. Cover her in a bloody offering.
Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!
I tap the side of my skull with my fist. My eyes slam closed to regain my focus. Vertigo slams into me.
“It’s okay.” Her meek voice cuts through my thoughts. My eyes fly open at her words. Her soft eyes peer over her shoulder down at me.She’s…trying to…soothe me?I let out a sinister laugh. “Is it okay?” I say disgustingly, mocking her. My tongue lashes against her folds again before I rip myself away. I sit back on my haunches.Hate the effect she has on me. Hate her.“Songbird, you don’t know shit,” I snarl. I rise to my feet and roughly grip her arm to keep myself grounded. She gasps.
“I’m a fuckin’ monster. I’m fucked-up. No amount of comfort you could offer will everfixme. What did I tell you? I’m not somethin’ for you to fix.I’m. Not. Broken.” I slam her cheek against the sleek wooden piano lid. I watch her reflection against the veneer finish.
A stray tear falls from her eyes, and I let out a rumbling growl. Her body racks with sobs. It has me on the verge of snapping. It’s a sickness, a poison—the urge to destroy every beautiful thing until it’s a pile of ash at my feet.
Fuckin’ break her.
