My eyes slide to the door before I force my attention back to Mr. Grimshaw. “Yes, sorry.” An awkward laugh leaves my lips, and I shake my head. “Sorry. I wanted to inform you I lost my phone. If my father calls, can you let me know? He’s a worrywart. I was also hoping you could inform my professors.” I twiddle the metal beads on the leather armrest.
His chin tilts upwards in an unreadable expression. “Certainly. We have break coming up. I trust you can secure a replacement?”
I nod.
“Yes sir,” and smile politely. He nods solemnly. “Good.”
I push back from my seat and pad for the door. Before I reach it, I twist back around. “I’ll tell Kieran you said hi,” I say with a chipper smile.
His face turns icy, all warmth draining from his features. He says nothing, so I take the opportunity to slip out from his office and race towards the Cadence Building with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.
***
The door swings open to the auditorium. Rhythmic chanting echoes through the air underscored by the soft swell of the violin. The risers are filled with the choir groups—our altos, sopranos, tenors, and baritones. Our choir director and bandmaster, Mrs. Carter and Mr. Stirling, flail their hands wildly as they lead warm-ups. I’m slightly late due to my pit stop at the dean’s office.
I rush towards the stage to take my place at the piano…perched upon the same leather stool Zain made me come on just days earlier. It’s cleaned and ready as if nothing ever happened. No signs of his rough handling or splattered cum and blood are to be found.
Thrill spikes through me as I settle onto the leather. I close my eyes and envision Zain’s hard body behind me, pushing me to my limits. His particular brand of crazy, for some sick reason, appeals to me. I should feel shame and disgust at the fact he carved into someone’s skin. I don’t, instead it sends a frisson of excitement through my core.
“Ms. Santi, are you ready?” Mr. Stirling asks.
My eyes flicker open. Silence fills the auditorium. Everyone’s waiting on my cue. I nod solemnly and stroke the keys beneath my fingers. The harmonic melody of “Carol of the Bells” flows through the theater. The choir starts to sing, instantly pushing into the crescendo. Iglide over the notes I’ve memorized by sound alone. I let myself get lost in the music, my body swaying to each note.
The deep undertones of the baritones echo in the background while the sopranos’ high pitches carry the sound. Music is like a puzzle, each group offering a piece to complete it. Without one, it doesn’t have the same affect on the mind and body. The song tapers to its rich, powerful ending and I slam the last final notes down.
Mr. Sterling claps. “Bravo, everyone! Very welldone!”
The frosty air slams into my lungs as I rush across the courtyard. I haven’t been able to get Zain off my brain. I was hoping the endless practices and assignments would be enough to keep my mind busy, but all it does is make me question my sanity. Now, I’m trekking across campus, into his questionable neighborhood, just to see him. I’ve obviously completely lost all ability to reason.
My boots slap against the wet leaves on the sidewalk. They stick beneath my soles. I would have brought Clara, but she’s been engrossed in her finals. I grasp the rusty, rain-soaked handrail and muster up the courage to knock on the door. Rain pelts my jacket, and the silence is eerie. It’s quiet inside. The streetlights flicker on behind me as night descends upon a clouded purple-orange sky.
I rap on the door as the rain wets my hair. Shuffling from the other side of the door draws closer. Then I hear the locks unlatching from the other side. The door rips open and a sleepy, pissed-off looking Zain answers in a pair of low-hung jeans with his black boxers peeking out. He’s shirtless, and I’m momentarily speechless. I stand like a bimbo, gawking. Scars and healed cuts cover his chest. Cigarette burns are etched into his sides and stomach.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, songbird?” he says on a breathy exhale. He digs in his jeans for his cigarettes, secures it between his lips, and lights it.
“Hi,” I say meekly. His eyes narrow when he catches me staring. Placing his forearm against the doorway, he leans his oversize body on it. “I wanted to just, uh, ask if you’ve seen my phone?”
He takes a heavy drag and closes his eyes momentarily. His Adam’s apple bobs under his dark, shadowed facial hair that’s starting to grow into a light stubble. He takes a step forward and leans down to my level, opening his clouded eyes. A plume of smoke exhales into my face, and I fight back the urge to cough.
“Yup,” he says nonchalantly. “Upstairs.” He ticks his head towards the stairway and takes another drag of his cigarette.
If this is his version of an invitation, it could use some work. I purse my lips, backtracking in my mind. When did I leave my phone with Zain?
He must see the gears turning because he adds, “You dropped it the other day. Haven’t had a chance to return it.” He stands like a statue, forcing me to squeeze between him and the doorway to get inside.
I catch a whiff of cigarettes and vanilla. The smell that reminds me of him. His hand slams against the doorjamb with a deafening crack, trapping me beneath his looming presence. He removes the cigarette from his lips and tosses it out onto the front stoop.
“Did you come for the phone or for a good time, songbird?” His body shadows mine, the
words falling off his tongue in a silky cadence.
My heart thunders wildly in my chest. I see my reflection in his dead eyes. My pulse quickens, and I realize the very moment he notices it too.A devilish smirk grows on his face. Suddenly, I’m imagining what his lips tasted like. I’m dying to taste him again.
“I’m afraid your darkness will pull me under,” I whisper, “but you make me feel safe,” I confess.
He licks his top teeth and clicks his tongue. His baritone drops dangerously low. “Safety is an illusion.”
I’m unsure how to take his words. All the warning signs are there, but I can’t heed them. I toy with the idea of bringing up what I saw today with Jax. It was clearly him. Before I can, he pushes off the door frame and starts up the staircase without a word. I close his front door and follow him blindly.
