I fail to hold in my gasp. His low, rumbling chuckle reaches my ear before he pulls away. Somehow my eyes have a mind of their own. I slowly trace a path up his physique to his void eyes.
“I—” I try to raise my voice higher than a hushed whisper.
He silences me with a low sinister laugh that’s purely Zain. That smirk tugs on the edge of his lips. His hands leave his hoodie pocket, and he reaches out to toy with a strand of my hair again. This time, he openly brings it to his nose, inhaling deeply. So deeply his eyes roll back until only the whites show.
“Cherries, virgin and musk,” his gravelly voice recites.
My mind blanks. My voice halts. Why does his behavior screamthreatbut also pulls me in so deeply?
“Have a good night, songbird.” He releases the strand of hair. It falls back to my chest with the remnants of his scent lingering.
He turns on his boots and strides back into the darkness. I watch until he’s a speck in the abyss. As soon as he’s a blip in the distance, I punch in the code and rush inside the building, making sure the door clicks behind me.
I walk in a trance to my room, and the door bursts open before I can plug in my key.
“I’m so sorry!” Clara’s arms wrap around me, knocking me off balance slightly. Tears stream down her cheeks. “I thought you stayed willingly! When you never came back downstairs or answered my texts, I assumed…” She hugs me harder, knocking the wind out of me.
“He almost raped me,” I say robotically, my arms glued to my sides. I can’t bring myself to hug her back. I feel stained, tainted.
She pulls back and brushes the hair from my face. Her brows knit in confusion and disgust. “Who? Zain?!” she breathes.
I shake my head quickly. She snatches my arm and pulls me inside our room and slams the door. This conversation calls for privacy. Thank God she has the sense to care; I’m so out of it I can’t think straight.
She gives me a once-over. I don’t let her check my stomach and neck where I’m riddled with bite marks. Satisfied, she leads me over to my bed where she sits next to me and takes my hands in hers. “This is all my fault. Who was it? We can go to the dean—”
I cut her off. “No,” I say quickly. Going to the dean means he might contact my father. The nature of the accusation would make headlines around Grimshaw, and I’m not strong enough for it. Facing my strict father would be the hardest part. If he found out I was at a party likethat with someone as crazed as Zain, he would pull me out of school immediately and never look back. He would never let me leave the house again, and it would destroy me. Music is my life. Home would become a gilded cage. Now that I’ve had a taste of the world unhindered, I refuse to give it up. I’m still learning, exploring.
She purses her lips. “Okay”—she pauses a moment—“are you sure, Vesp?”
I nod solemnly.
She pushes off my bed and plops down on hers across from me with a blank stare. I kick off my shoes and grab a fistful of clean clothes from the pile on the floor, unconcerned with if they match. “Going to the shower.”
She nods. “I really am sorry,” she says again in a low whisper.
I don’t blame Clara at all, but it’s clear she feels guilty even though I made the stupid choice to be unsafe. I went up those stairs without her. I went willingly into an unknown room, straight into the clutches of a monster. She couldn’t have known.
The hallway is silent as my feet carry me to the showers. My head is swimming with emotions even as I feel slightly numb. I snake around the showers and drop my clean clothes on the bamboo stool.
I peel out of my dirty clothes and struggle to even look at them without feeling disgust. They’re stretched and misshapen, covered in blood splatter from his rough handling. It’s a shame because I loved my Selena shirt, but right now, I can’t bring myself to look at it. These articles of clothing will haunt me forever if I hang on to them. A reminder of what almost happened. A trash can in the corner catches my eye and I stride over and pitch them without a second thought.
The hot water comes quicker than usual and I let the droplets bead over my body, washing away his dirty touch from my skin. Soaping up,I scrub at my skin until it’s red and raw, washing every inch until it’s inflamed. It’s the only way I can erase the memory. Each painful scrub of my cracked skin does little to alleviate my feelings of disgust. I watch the soapy water disappear down the drain, taking a part of me with it.
The water drowns out the feelings and I disassociate. It’s easier than dealing with it head-on. I lose track of how long I stand there, but by the time I’m finished, my skin is pruned. Once the flow turns cold, I cut the faucet off and slip into a loose shirt and shorts.
Tomorrow will be a better day, I tell myself. It has to be, right? Now I just need to find a way to avoid Zain and Jax. This lifestyle isn’t for me, and the best thing I can do is avoid them like the plague.
He corrupted her innocence. I crouch down in the back of the dorm showers, waiting for her. She’s a fuckin’ mess, and not by my hand. I watch as she tosses away her clothes into a discarded heap. Fortunately for me, I’ll be digging those out and keeping those for myself. A memento of sorts.
She scrubs and scrubs until her skin turns a deep crimson. She’s as desperate as I am to remove all traces of him. Wish I could replace his stench with my own. Call it a hunch, but I’d bet our scents would intertwine to make for the perfect mix.
Jax will be real sorry real soon. I rub my fingers against the switchblade in my pocket, thinking of all the ways I can get vengeance. My mind never ceases to run out of twisted, idealistic ways.
Carve his skin. Make him suffer. He touched what’s mine. He tainted her.
My deranged thoughts are interrupted by her soft crying. I peer over the tiled slab wall and see she’s sunken down to the floor in a crumpled mess. I would normally relish in her pain, but it brings me no fulfillment. It was supposed to bemebreaking her. Jax’s little stunt has cost me time.
One advantage I’ve gained is that she’s curious. Her inquisitive nature has her wanting to know more about the world outside of her golden prison, and I will be the one to show her how cruel and unforgiving it can be.
