I'd never entered, only ever looked at it in vague curiosity, curiosity about the boy who is best friends with my brother, a boy who had always been in my life but never actually a part of it, just there. Always there.
It was odd to think we now shared a secret between us that would hurt not only my best friend but my brother as well.
I look to where Charlie grasps my hand in hers. A secret that could ruin the only friendship I really have.
Charlie pulls me into the room, shutting the door behind me before diving for her closet, pulling dress after dress out and piling them on her bed.
"We're going sexy, irresistible, completely mind blowing." She says over her shoulder, moving towards her shoes, dark hair swaying with her actions. "Maybe backless is the move, or a short but not too short dress. Boots? Heels?" She looks over her shoulder when I don't reply. "What are you feeling?"
The air has a bit of a chill in it so I move towards her collection of boots, looking for a pair that I wouldn't break an ankle in.
I point to a burgundy pair, knee high with a thicker heel and Charlie grins. "I have just the outfit." Then she moves towards her skirts and starts rummaging. She pulls a mini black skirt out and flashes it towards me excitedly. "It's a skort." Before she reaches for a boat neck burgundy top and a black long sleeve top, chewing her lips as she decides between the two before picking the black top and throwing it towards me. "Get ready, I'm doing your hair and makeup, no matter what, you will be the hottest thing to ever walk the earth tonight."
I smile at Charlie's enthusiasm and walk towards the hall and the bathroom, the bundle of clothes in my hands. The house is silent and I breathe a sigh of relief that no one is here.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe I need to stop hiding.
• • •
Charlie checks my makeup, her eyes narrowing before she nods in satisfaction. "I did well." Then she's out the door and beckoning me with her.
My hand is on the door, and my mind is telling me to open it, but my hand isn't listening. I swear it's not me.
"Ivy." Charlie beckons and I scowl before pushing out of the car, my heart beating double time in my chest.
I step up beside her, staring at the house pooling with college students and probably some high schoolers like I'm off to war.
"Let's go." Charlie says, stomping off towards the house while I follow like I'm being led to the gallows.
The party smells like alcohol and sweat and too many bodies in one space.
Charlie looks free.
I try to be.
I even almost manage it.
Until someone notices me.
"Lousy lay!" The boisterous guy yells, thankfully only a few heads turning our way but it's enough to have me cringing away. "How're you doin?"
"Shut up Jakob!" Charlie snaps, her hand finding mine once more and squeezing. "You're only acting a big man cause theonly lay you'll ever get is the blow up doll you hide under your bed."
Then she's dragging us through the crowd and towards the drinks, relief coming over me when she hands me a drink and takes one herself. "We'll dance, and then we'll find you a guy to make out with."
I open my mouth to - say what, I'm not sure but shake my head instead and walk towards the makeshift dance floor, forcing myself to get lost in the music and crowd of bodies.
Charlie's face is thrown back in glee, her brown hair falling down her shoulders in waves and I smile at the freedom she's feeling, wishing I could escape my head long enough to feel it too but instead all I can feel is the eyes on me.
I lean forward, tapping Charlie's shoulder briefly before shouting over the music that I'm going to go find a toilet and she points to herself, silently asking if I want her to come but I shake my head and walk off. Leaving my barely touched drink on a random table for someone else to deal with and make my way up the stairs, searching for the toilet.
I don't find it, instead finding Asher, his attention focused on the girl in front of him who laughs at something he says and lifts a hand to squeeze his bicep. She looks so at ease, like she belongs there. Like nothing about flirting with an attractive man is unknown to her.
She laughs again and something low in my stomach curdles.
I don't know why I suddenly feel jealous. Asher isn't mine.
