I stumble over to my bed, sitting down on the edge, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me. Part of me wants to scream, wants to confront him and ask him what the hell he's doing. But another part of me remembers what he said.
We couldn't fall in love; this was nothing more than a transaction.
He told me from the beginning, it's not his fault my stupid heart didn't listen.
I'm in love with Asher Hudson.
For a moment, a reckless thought flashes through my mind.
I could go downstairs.
Walk into that room, pull him aside, and ask him the one question I’m suddenly desperate to hear the answer to.
Do I matter to you?
My chest tightens.
Because if he said yes…
I know I wouldn’t walk away.
My phone buzzes on my bedside table.
The sound makes me flinch.
I stare at it for a second before reaching for it.
Dad.
Another message.
I read the notification before I can stop myself.
I’m sorry for everything that happened. I know I hurt you and Leon but-
I don’t read the rest.
Delete.
Just like the first one.
The phone drops onto my mattress beside me.
Of course he’s sorry now.
Years later.
After everything is already broken.
Leon had to become something closer to a parent than a brother because of him. Mum died never knowing the truth because Leon and I had to lie to her about where her husband was – who he was with. Because wechoseto lie to her then see her heart break.
My chest tightens.
And suddenly Asher’s voice from downstairs echoes in my head again.
It was easy.
Maybe that’s the difference between us.
