My heart pounds in my chest, hard and fast like a galloping horse and I smile softly at Asher, staring past his shoulder to the empty hallway.
My phone buzzes in my hand.
The screen lights up between us and I glance down automatically.
The start of the text makes my eyes blur and I have to blink to make sure I read it right.
Hey, Sweetie. It’s dad . . .
For a second the world narrows to just that word.Dad.
I don’t even read the rest of the message. My thumb moves instantly, deleting it before I can think twice.
Years of silence andthat’show he comes back.
A text message.
Like the last few years never happened. Like disappearing after Mum died is something that can be undone with a handful of words on a screen.
I shove the phone into my pyjama pocket quickly, hoping Asher didn’t notice.
My chest feels too tight and I look down the hall again.
"Where's Leon?" It’s the only thing I can think to say.
Asher shrugs, "He was on the phone so thought I'd come up here."
I nod, awkwardness filling me. "Why?"
He opens his mouth to say something but pauses and shakes his head, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "Since Icut our tutoring session short today, was wondering if we could postpone it to next week?" He tilts his head and grins, charming to the bone. "I need my little tutor if I'm going to pass my exams and stay in hockey."
He says it so lightly. Like that's all this is.
My heart drops and I wet my lips, "Yeah, how about Tuesday?" I can feel my eyes stinging at the sudden realization that this is all we'll ever be.
He straightens, stepping forward slightly but I don't let him in the room, and he pauses, his eyes moving between mine in mild curiosity and he open his mouth to speak but I cut him off.
"I'm really tired, Asher."
His jaw tightens for half a second before he nods and steps back, shoulder tensing then dropping. "Yeah, Tuesday works. I'll see you at the campus library around one?"
I nod, "Yep. See you then." And move to shut the door but he stops me, staring down at me. "Ivy-" I wait. He doesn't say anything.
My muscles tense. "Goodnight Asher."
"Night, Ivy."
The door shuts with a click behind me and I lean against it, lifting a hand to place it against my beating heart and tell myself I have to stop. I can't like Asher Hudson.
If I stay, I'll fall harder.
If I leave now, it'll hurt less.
I don't have to decide tonight.
• • •
I lie in bed, listening to the muffled sounds of my brother's teammates arriving for their game night. The voices are loud, playful, mixed with the familiar clinks of soda cans and the unmistakable hum of video games. It's a usual scene around here-Leon's team hanging out, blowing off steam, and catching up-but tonight, the noise grates at me more than usual.
