“Yes.Of course,” I said, finding myself the object of Kamal’s firm gaze after this unusual request.
Puck’s chest rose and fell as he absorbed our conversation and seemed to become even more agitated.I think he hated me, but I couldn’t worry about that right now, except to contemplate how unfair it was.
“Put your hands on his shoulders, so he can lean into you,” Kamal said.
I faced Puck head-on and reached for his quivering shoulders.As I placed my open palms gently but firmly on him, he sighed and shook his head back and forth with exaggerated movements.
“Prospero,” he said gruffly, turning to Kamal.“Prospero.”
“Drop your hands, Oliver,” Kamal said and moved in close, gazing at Puck’s bent head as Puck licked his lips over and over.
“What’s happening?”I asked Adam, stepping back as Kamal whispered something into Puck’s ear.“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, but I think Puck just used his safeword,” Adam said.
“Oh,” I said.Because of me?
Adam shrugged, watching Kamal and Puck speaking in hushed tones.“It happens.We don’t really want them upset.They’re able to back out at any point.They don’t, usually.But sometimes they feel overwhelmed, and that’s fair.”
We watched as Kamal said a few more words, then went behind Puck and began to unbuckle the ponyboy’s armbands.
“He’s done for the day,” Kamal said, with no animosity in his tone, only mild disappointment.He finished his task and let Puck bring his arms down.
The ponyboy was still frowning.He didn’t seem any happier.He flexed his fingers and stretched his arms.
“You all right, Puck?”Kamal asked him.
“Yeah.I’m fine.I’m sorry,” the man mumbled.
“Sorry for using your safeword, or sorry for being a pain in the ass?”
Puck glanced at me, and he seemed to think something over.“Sorry for everything.I’m not ready to be done.Not yet.”
“Puck, it’s fine.You safeworded.You’re off the hook,” Kamal assured him.“The stable hands will look after you.”
“No.I’m fine!”He glared at Kamal.“I want you to”—his gaze flicked to me briefly as he spoke between clenched teeth—“give me the tail.”
Kamal stared at Puck for several tense moments.
So long, in fact, that Adam, who had been careful to stay out of things, intervened.“Puck, it’s all right.You’re not a failure for using your safeword.You can start fresh tomorrow.”
Kamal held up his hand.“No.If Puck wants to start fresh right now, that’s his choice.We still have an hour.”
Puck nodded, his face the picture of relief.
“Not good enough,” Kamal stated.
“Yes.Please.I want it.”Puck turned around and crossed his arms behind his back.
“Never mind that,” Kamal said.“You can keep your arms free for the rest of your shift.If you’re serious about continuing, go and lean on the fence over there.Stick out your ass and come up with a nice apology for Oliver and Adam after we’re done.”
Puck seemed to think it over.He gazed at me and then Adam, nodded and walked, subdued, to the fence.
Kamal watched him go, turned to Adam and me, and shrugged.
“Oliver, if you don’t mind, I want Puck to see you while I do this.His attitude was out of line.Go around to the other side of the fence and stand in front of him.”
I looked at Adam, raising my eyebrows.
