Madeline crossed her arms, her expression one of disbelief. “But why? You’re not even going to mingle with the others and have a laugh?”
“I am suddenly feeling far less cheerful than I did earlier in the week,” Peter said, his tone growing weary. “The estate in London needs me. I have obligations that I cannot ignore.”
Madeline’s eyes softened slightly, though her frustration remained. “If there’s something wrong, if it’s about Lavinia, you should talk to me. You’re my brother, and I’m here for you.”
Peter felt a pang of guilt. He wanted to confide in her, to share the burden of his feelings, but he knew it was not something Madeline could understand. She was too young and too innocent to grasp the full complexity of the situation.
“It’s not just about me,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “It’s about what’s best for everyone involved.”
Madeline eyed him narrowly. “If it’s about Lavinia, you should at least talk to her before you leave. Sulking in your room will only make things worse.”
Peter’s heart sank at the mention of Lavinia. He knew he had already broken her heart, so what else was there to say?
“It’s not that simple,” he protested, struggling to find the right words. “There are things that I need to handle, and leaving now is the best course of action.” He gave Madeline an imploringlook. “Surely, you can speak to Mama. You can tell her how important it is that we leave and?—”
“No.” Madeline’s frustration was profound, but she seemed to realize that further argument was futile. “I will not ask Mama to give up one moment of her happiness, and you should not ask that of her either.” She glared at him. “Perhaps if you weren’t so determined to live a life of solitude, you would see that stepping out of this room and talking to Lavinia is the only way you can move forward.”
With a heavy sigh, she turned and exited the room, leaving him with his thoughts once more.
His mind raced.
She’s wrong. Madeline does not know. She cannot understand.
His gaze drifted around the room.
Well, she’s not entirely wrong. I should not force Mama to leave, but she cannot keep me here either.
He hurried around the room, hastily packing his belongings. The urgency of his departure only compounded the turmoil inside him. He wanted to see Lavinia one last time, to find a way to convey his feelings, but he was unsure of how to approach her or what to say.
As he made his way towards the door, hoping to catch her before he left, he was halted by the entrance of his mother. Her presence was a welcome distraction, though it did little to alleviate his inner turmoil.
“Peter, I hear you’re leaving early,” she said, her voice gentle and filled with concern. “I thought I asked you to stay for a few more days.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked up and down his wrinkled clothes. “Is everything all right?”
Peter turned to face her, forcing a polite smile that did not reach his eyes. “Yes, Mother. There are pressing matters at the estate that require my attention.”
His mother approached him, her gaze probing but sympathetic. “You know, if something is troubling you, you can always talk to me. I am here to listen. I am your mother, after all.”
Peter’s heart ached at her words. He wanted to confide in her, to share the weight of his feelings, but he could not bring himself to do it. The situation was too complex, and he feared the consequences of exposing Lavinia’s emotions and his own.
“I appreciate that, Mother,” he said, “but this is something I need to handle on my own.”
His mother’s eyes softened with understanding, though her concern remained.
“Remember, you don’t have to face everything alone. If you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
Peter nodded, offering a grateful smile. “Thank you, Mother. I’ll keep that in mind.”
She gave him a reassuring smile before turning to leave.
Peter watched her go, feeling a pang of regret for not being able to share the full truth with her. He hurried down the hall, the sense of finality growing stronger with each passing moment.
As he descended to the courtyard, the atmosphere was one of subdued activity. Lord and Lady Crawford, as well as Lavinia and Charles, were gathered to see him off, their politeness a stark contrast to the storm of emotions inside him.
How did they even know I was leaving?
His eyes scanned the gathering, and he spotted Madeline standing behind Charles and Lavinia. She had both arms crossed over her chest, and her mouth was twisted into an expression that was not quite a scowl but not entirely a pout either.
She must have warned them that I was getting ready to go.
