She shakes her head. “He won’t admit it, but the fact that you guys aren’t seeing each other has eased his rage on the matter.”
“That kind of makes him a prick.”
Sighing, she runs her hand through her hair. “Yeah. He’s just really mad, and mad people do irrational things. He feels like he was betrayed.”
I sniffle and look at my hands in my lap. “I’m glad he didn’t end things with you.”
She grabs my hand and folds her fingers through mine. “Me too. I was really worried there for a minute.”
“You know I’m grateful that you kept our secret, right?”
She straightens her shoulders and declares, “Hos before bros, girlie. I got your back.” Leaning, she pushes the takeout box closer to me. “Now, eat something.”
“I can’t.”
“Girl, you’re losing weight. This can’t go on forever. It’s unhealthy. You need to fuel yourself.”
I stare at the box, knowing she’s right. I’m not meaning to starve myself. I’m just not hungry, but I can’t keep denying my body what it needs. “Is it pancakes?”
She smiles a little at me. “I told you, I got your back.”
“I know you do,” I say as I pluck up the box and bring it to my lap. I open it up and smile a little. There’s whipped cream on top. “Are you trying to make me feel better?”
“Clearly it’s working. You’re at least smiling.”
I grip the plastic fork, cut off a piece, and stuff it into my mouth. It tastes like ash, but I won’t tell her that. She was thoughtful enough to bring it to me and take care of me when I need it most.
“Are you caught up on homework?” she asks, eyeing my backpack by the table.
I shake my head. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”
“What about your internship applications for the summer? Did you start those?”
“No,” I admit.
She slaps my knee, stands up, and goes to get my backpack. “Then that’s what we’re doing tonight. We’re not going to wallow. We’re going to hold our heads up high. Okay?”
Swallowing, I nod. “I can try.”
“Good.” She sets my backpack in front of me.
CHAPTER 28
REID RATHE
I rubat my eyes and slap my cheeks, trying to get myself to wake up. Tomorrow will be a full week that Avery and I haven’t been together. The days bleed into the night, and I no longer know what day it is. If it wasn’t for Jacob, I wouldn’t be sitting here in Spanish class. He’s really stepped up these last few days, coming over often to be the buffer between me and Dustin.
Dustin’s slowly starting to talk to me again. More like, “Do you have grocery money?” or “Can you pass me the remote?” Little things, but it’s progress, and knowing I didn’t lose him forever at least gives me room to breathe.
I haven’t told my parents about Avery, and I don’t plan to. Ever. I won’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that I’m going through another terrible heartbreak. I’ll never hear the end of it, and then my mother will try to continue with the wedding. Just because Avery and I are no longer together, doesn’t mean I want to marry Dorothy. Hell, at Jacob’s party, she admitted to not wanting to marry me also.
So, to keep that part of my life behind me, I’ve decided to never tell my parents. I gave Avery all of me, and in the end, it wasn’t enough.
Jacob and I are sitting in our usual spot in Spanish, and I tap my pen as I watch the door for Avery to come in. I just want a glimpse. I just need to see her. It’ll be enough to tide me over until next week. It has to be. And when the class ends indefinitely at the end of the semester? I can’t even think about that. She was it for me. I’ll always want her.
The lecture hall doors open at the same time the professor stands at the podium and begins the class. But I can’t pay attention to that because Ivy and Avery sneak into the class and take seats in the back row.
I crane my neck to look at her. Her hair is in a messy bun, her sweatshirt is stained, and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. She’s also lost weight, and that kills me, knowing she’s suffering as much as me. I don’t know what I expected when I saw her again, but I don’t wish her to suffer. I want her to be happy even if it’s not with me.
