I whip my gaze back up to his, panic making my eyes wide. “No!” I hiss.
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll lose him as a friend, and I’ll lose him too. And even Ivy’s relationship could be in jeopardy.”
He slides a hand over his mouth and drops it to his side. “Not if we’re honest. You can’t know for certain how he’ll react.”
I shake my head. “But I do.”
“How?”
My chest heaves as I inhale slowly and push it out. He patiently waits for me to explain. “When we were younger, Dustin had this dog. He was so sweet, a great dog, but he liked to run out the door and push his way through gates. One time, I was playing with the dog outside, wasn’t paying attention when I went through the gate, and he pushed through.” I swallow thickly as the memory surfaces. The sound of the brakes. The blare of the horn. The pitch of the yelp. “He was hit by a car. We put him down that very night because the damage was beyond repair. It took Dustin forever to talk to me after that night. To acknowledge that I existed. I won’t…I won’t lose my brother again. I won’t betray him again.”
He reaches for me, thinks better of it, and flexes his hand as he settles it at his side again. “This is different, Avery. This isn’t death. This is happiness. Surely your brother wants you to be happy.”
I push a hand through my hair, fighting back tears. “I just…we can’t label this right now, Reid. I have to figure this out first.”
“We can figure it out together.”
I look back up into his eyes and see the sincerity in them. We stand there for a while, simply having a silent conversation about where we go from here and if we do it together or alone.
“I have feelings for you,” he eventually whispers.
Swallowing thickly, I nod. “I know.”
“Do you have feelings for me?”
I look over at Dustin, who catches my gaze and gives me a little wave. I wave back as I say, “I do.”
“Then we got this,” he murmurs when I turn my attention back to him. “We don’t have to label anything. I’m content simply being in your space.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
He looks around to make sure no one is watching before he closes the space between us and kisses my forehead. “We’ll continue this conversation some other time.” He steps away as I nod. “If we continue to talk, your brother will start to?—”
“Figure it out, I know, I know.” I exhale sharply. “Okay. So move in, and we’ll just tread carefully while we figure this all out.”
He nods, dares a touch to my chin, and jogs toward Dustin. I watch as Dustin turns around at the sound of Reid’s footfalls and slaps him on the back as they climb into the back of the pickup.
This won’t end well, whatever this is between us. I know it won’t. I know my brother. The question is: How much am I willing to risk?
With a bit of nausea at the prospect, I head inside. I have every intention of taking Ivy out for a drink. I need a detox, and alcohol will have to be the antidote tonight.
CHAPTER 19
REID RATHE
It’s well past midnight,and I’mstillunpacking. I didn’t think I had this much stuff, but I guess I was wrong.
I hang a shirt in the closet and turn to the pile laid out on my unmade bed. I’m bone tired, but with the weekend starting tomorrow, I promise myself a nap at some point.
Instead of grabbing the next shirt, I sit next to the pile and rake a hand down my tired face. My mind wanders to the conversation that Avery and I had earlier today. She was upset, and though it was cute, she had valid concerns. For me, however, it’s black and white. I want her, she wants me, so we should make it happen. She sees everything in color. It’s not simple for her.
At least, she doesn’t want us to see other people. Not that I would. She’s all I want, and I have tunnel vision when it comes to her. But it’s comforting to know that I’m the only guy in her life. We may not be dating, but we’re as close as we’re going to get…for now. I have every intention of changing that because, clearly, what I’m doing is working.
My phone beeps, and I dig it out of my pocket, wondering who the hell would be texting me so late.
I open the phone and click on the text app.
