“Yes.”
Bile rises in my throat. “I think I might puke.”
He steps forward and grips my upper arms. “This isn’t going to be easy, Charlie, but if you want to save the rest of the men and women, you have a part to play, just like I do. Iwillgo to that shoot. I’m expected there. Just because our plans have changed doesn’t mean the business has. If I don’t show up, if you try to save her, we’re dead.” He gives me a little shake. “Do you understand?”
I swallow down the vomit in my throat because I know he’s right. There’s not a damn thing I can do for that woman. For any of them. Not until we get to the top.
I close my eyes and give him one curt nod. A soft kiss to my forehead follows. “I’ll keep as much as I can from you, the parts you don’t need to know. Don’t hold it against me, please, mama,” he begs.
I lean into his lips and nod again.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Feenix Blaylock
After we hit a few more stores, she pulls me into a nearby high-end cafe. Whatever body shame issues she had while shopping are now gone as she takes generous bites of her burger. She’s already devoured her fries, but I can’t really blame her considering we ate breakfast before the sun rose.
As I observe her, she has a gleeful glint in her eyes. Perhaps it has everything to do with having clothes of her own since I won’t let her step a foot in her apartment’s direction, but I like to think it has everything to do with spending the day with me. Or maybe it’s the fact that she’s being taken care of after almost two weeks of her husband being dead, a subject we haven’t touched on yet. Money has to be tight if she’s living in the apartment building she chose. It’s surprising to me since Nathan was paid well for his services with us. It’s been on the tip of my tongue to ask her about it all day, but it’s none of my business, and thefact of the matter is he clearly left her with absolutely nothing.
Nothing makes me more furious.
He must not have felt for her the way I do, ketchup on her cheek and all.
And dare I say it, it almost feels like my life is . . . normal. That this is what I could eventually have, but that’s a lie I’m telling myself because I’ll never have this. This won’t be a day-to-day thing for me. In fact, it’ll likely be the one and only time I take her out like this.
Not only can we not afford to be seen together, but this – whatever this is between us – will come to an end in one form or another. We’ll catch my boss, she’ll get rewarded, and I’ll go to prison. It’ll end in only one of us getting a happy ending and the other paying for his crimes.
Unless I run. We catch him, I take his money, and I run. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a few hours, but could I leave her behind? No. Would she come with me? Maybe. Am I so far gone that I won’t face the extent of my crimes? Most likely.
“What?” she asks after swallowing a bite.
I hadn’t realized I was staring. I blink once, pick up a french fry, and pop it into my mouth. “Nothing,” I say.
She narrows her gaze. “No lies. Remember? That goes both ways.”
I recline against the back of the chair, cross my arms, and debate what to tell her and how honest I’ll be with it. “That what we are doing here, right now, is all a lie.”
Her scowl matches her tone as she says, “Having lunch?”
I give her a pointed look.
Understanding crosses her face, and she gently sets down what’s left of her burger. “This feels like a date to you.”
One curt nod is the only answer I can muster because expressing feelings? It’s not my thing. It never has been and never will be.
Thankfully, she doesn’t expect that side of me to suddenly make an appearance because she leans a little into the table and murmurs, “Don’t make the present a piece of your past. Live it while you can, Nix.”
The corners of my mouth tip up. “That’s your advice?”
She shrugs and picks up her burger again. “It’s good advice.”
“Mhmm,” I hum as I grab another fry.
As I’m chewing, she asks, “Tell me about your mom.”
My scowl is immediate, and swallowing the fry feels like shoving a rock down my throat. “No.”
“You said you’d tell me about her eventually. And now that I have you trapped, I should be able to get that story without a problem.”
