“Yes,” I mutter. I’m asking him to change the man he made himself. To choose me over his life’s work. “Will you do it?”
He gives his roots one last tug before he drops his hands back to his sides and tucks his chin to his chest. I watch his jaw muscles ripple and wait with bated breath for his answer.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Feenix Blaylock
The elevator door slides open into the penthouse, and I find myself in complete disbelief. I stand in the doorway of my elevator for a minute, staring at the dark interior before I numbly search the wall for the light switches.
I must still be in shock because everything is muted; my feelings, my senses.Undercover.I hadn’t even considered that, but I should have. It’s my job to consider new people’s motives to protect the business. I’d been blind, too wrapped up in everything that was Charlie to see the truth.
I flick on the lights and turn to face Charlie. This . . . that gorgeous woman. Standing in my doorway with hair still in disarray from us fucking and a little smeared makeup from crying, she still looks like a wet dream. But in the end, she’ll be the end of me. So why did I agree to her plan? Why did I even take her home? Why didn’t I just kill her like I’d do to anyone else?
Because just like she did to me, I fell for her. It’s something I can no longer deny because it’s the only thing that makes sense.
She swivels her head to get a good look at my space. “This is beautiful,” she murmurs in awe.
I slowly spin back around to look with her. The elevator opens to the living room, which is complete with a white couch, a large electric fireplace, and an even larger flat-screen TV hanging above it. A coffee table rests on a rug before the couch.
Taking a deep inhale, she sighs contentedly. “And it smells like you.”
“What do I smell like?” I ask quietly and curiously.
She looks me square in the eye and whispers, “Sin,” before heading to the couch and running her fingers over the gray blanket that stretches across the back. I never use it; I’m never here long enough to even sit on the couch, but my housekeeper gave it to me as a gift once. It’s been resting there ever since.
“Want a drink?” I ask her as I turn and head toward the kitchen on the other side of the living room wall.
I don’t wait for her response because, if tonight has brought both of us anything, it’s that stress and the burn of alcohol will make me feel like me again. At least for a second.
As I pour from the bottle of scotch into two glass cups, I contemplate what’s happening to me. She blew me wide open when she begged for me to let the inner me out. Maybe that’s why I’m numb because, by her asking, I’ve started to. That man she sees in me is pushing to the forefront. I’d do anything for her, burn the world down for her, and if that means changing…
Can I do it? Can I change for her? I’m willing to helpher take down my boss because she simply asked me to, but can I change . . . me?
I don’t know if I’m too far gone for that, if there’s a part of me that will always be this dark and twisted man. A man who’s okay with sex trafficking for the simple monetary value so people can fuck their corpses. Who’s okay with men and women having sex against their will. Who’s okay with murder.
She may have remembered who she is, but now I’m just as lost about who I am.
Maybe it’s that simple. Maybe I’ve been pretending to be the man I am now instead of the man I used to be before this business.
“What are you thinking?” she asks quietly at my back. I hadn’t realized I’d been just standing here, gripping the granite counter’s edge while staring down at the glasses.
“Just coming to grips with this,” I murmur before picking up the glasses and passing her one.
She takes a small sip while watching me closely. I can tell she wants to say something. Probably many things if the look on her face is anything to go by.
“Say it,” I murmur again.
She lowers the glass from her lips but hovers it by her chin as if she doesn’t want it to move too far from her mouth for fear that she might need the liquid courage. “You chose me.”
“I did.” I take a gulp and roll out my stiff neck.
Her face falls, and her eyes are downcast. “You look like you regret it,” she whispers sadly.
I head to her and tip her chin up to face me. “I don’t regret you. I’ll never regret choosing you.” Her bottom lip trembles for a split second, but I push on. “I regretme.”
“How did you even get into this life, Nix?” Her voice is so small, and it breaks in the middle.
I press a small kiss to her lips and then back up a step to lean against the counter. “I went looking for my cousin,” I answer honestly. “All trails led here.”
