We rush to get dressed and go downstairs together. On the stairs, his hand finds the small of my back. Not guiding. Just there. I don't flinch. I lean into it.
His hand stays the whole way down.
The careful distance between us, the distance I've been measuring and maintaining since the day he found me in a storm, is gone now.
It's like it was never there at all.
Chapter 15: Stormy
I can't believe I actually kissed Tex.
I put my hand on his beard and my mouth on his mouth. I kissed him and he kissed me back.
The thought keeps circling through my brain on a loop. I kissed him. I touched his face. I felt the beard under my fingers, soft and warm. I leaned in and I did the bravest thing I've ever done in my life. Braver than running, braver than stealing a motorcycle, braver than climbing into a stranger's truck during a hurricane.
I kissed a man for one reason.
Because Iwanted to.
My body is wrecked. The near-drowning took everything out of me. My arms ache so deep that the bones feel bruised. My lungs burn with every breath, a raw, salt-scraped feeling that makes me cough when I inhale too deep. My legs are shaking on the stairs and I'm gripping the railing harder than I want Tex to see. I probably shouldn't be working, but there's no way in hell I'm letting him down.
My body is exhausted, but my mind is buzzing with a clarity that feels like stepping out of a dark room into sunlight. I know what I want. I've said it out loud. I've acted on it. The dam that I built between myself and everything good in the world, the dam that kept me alive but kept me empty, is cracking. And instead of drowning in what's behind it, I'm breathing.
We reach the first floor. Sheila is standing at the base of the stairs with her arms crossed and her eyes sharp and wet.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
Not to Tex. To me. Her voice is steady but there's fear underneath it, a tremor she's controlling, and I realize she's been down here alone for too long not knowing if we were okay.
"I'm fine," I say. "Please don't worry about me."
"You are not fine. You almost drowned. Sit down."
"Sheila, I'm good. I just needed to rest a few minutes. I want to help set up."
"You're going to sit down where I can see you and drink water. Then eat before you do a single thing in this parking lot or so help me God, I will tie you to that stool."
I sit down. She puts a glass of water and a sandwich in front of me and stands there until I eat it. Tex is already outside, moving tables. I can see him through the open door, shirtless in the late afternoon heat, setting up for tonight like a man who didn't just swim half a mile through rip currents carrying another man.
"He's going to put on a brave face and pretend he's fine too," Sheila says, watching him through the door. "You're both terrible at admitting when you're not okay. It's like having two stubborn mules around."
"I really am fine."
"Sure, you are." She pours herself a glass of sweet tea and leans against the counter across from me. "Baby, I have been bartending here forever. I've watched people lie to me across this counter more times than I can count. You are lying through your teeth. You're exhausted. You're hurting, and you're running on nothing but adrenaline and pure stubbornness. But I also know that telling you to rest is like telling the tide not to come in. So, I'm going to let you work tonight on the condition that you drink water every twentyminutes and you sit down the second you feel dizzy. Deal? Because I'll be watching you."
"Deal."
"Good." She takes a sip of her tea. Her eyes haven't left me. "Now eat your sandwich, sugar. You scared the living daylights out of me."
I eat it. The bread tastes like the best thing I've ever put in my mouth, which might be the near-death experience talking. Everything tastes better when you almost didn't get to taste anything again.
I finish eating and go outside to help with setup. The heat is still as brutal as it was before I went into the water, and my body protests every movement. My arms feel like they're filled with wet sand. My legs tremble on every trip between the kitchen and the parking lot. I ignore it. I push through it because Tex and Sheila are out here working. I'm not going to sit on a stool while the two people I care about most in the world carry the bar's weight without me.
Tex catches me wincing as I lift a folding table.
"Hey." He's next to me in a flash. Not hovering, just there. "You sure you're up for this? Nobody's going to think less of you for taking a night off."
"I will think less of me, so I'm not taking the night off. I'm fine."
