Of course, he could. He was a lord, he could do whatever he liked.
“Oh, yes, I certainly would. What would you do to keep your boy, I wonder?”
“I will never come to you, I will never allow you to touch me again,” Hanna gasped in despair, her mind spinning with distress and hopelessness.
She couldn’t, she wouldn’t. It would destroy her.
“We shall see,” replied Ashton with an arched brow, nonchalantly sliding his hand into his waistcoat and rocking on his heels. “A woman alone in this world does not have many choices.”
Hanna stepped back into the sunlight as terror struck her down.
No, Alaric would never abandon her. She would have to trust him.
Just then, she heard her name, and Hanna spun to find Alaric standing just down the pathway, looking at her curiously.
Lord Emlsey smirked wickedly at Hanna’s expression, then stepped purposely into view, tipping his hat to Alaric with a knowing expression, before strolling away in a leisurely fashion.
Leaving Hanna alone to watch as Alaric’s expression changed from confused to thunderous. Anger flashed in his gaze as it swung from her to Emsley and then back again.
Tears threatened, and Hanna ducked her head in shame and bent to pick up the glass shards and the tray at her feet. Anything to distract her from dealing with what had just happened.
When she looked up, Alaric was gone, and she was all alone.
Just as she always was.
The afternoon passedin a blur as Hanna felt her anxiety rising to unbearable heights. Alaric seemed to be strictly avoiding her, keeping himself busy with the underkeepers and the hounds, while Hanna hovered with the other servants, helping with packing away the picnic.
She noticed Alaric stalk into the trees as the day drew to a close, and hesitantly she followed him, thinking to explain or try and talk to him. Anything to ease this discomfort, to make him look at her with the affection she now craved from him.
As she slipped deeper into the trees, Hanna heard low voices muttering angrily ahead. Stepping closer, she found Alaric glaring at Lord Emsley, his arms crossed, legs splayed, anger bunching his forehead as the two men argued.
A branch snapped under her foot, and Alaric’s gaze snapped to hers, but she quickly ducked away, hurrying back to the party to excuse herself from the others and quickly make her way home.
She knew what Emsley would be telling Alaric. Knew the terrible things her man would think of her now.
She felt sick and had to stop and lean against a tree, breathing harshly through the wave of nausea that bent her over.
Hands shaking, Hanna managed to make it back to their cottage. A place she had started to think of as home, a place for them to be a family.
Little James was kicking his feet on a blanket in the front garden, with Maria keeping her eye on him as she darned a pile of garments.
“Hanna, dear, is everything all right?” asked the woman as Hanna bent and kissed James's forehead, hiding her face from her friend, who she knew would see straight through her.
“Yes,” lied Hanna, walking quickly through the house to the kitchen, where she went straight to the pail and splashed her cheeks, hoping that she could get herself under control before Alaric arrived back.
His boots sounded on the front room floorboards, and Hanna froze, her heart thumping wildly.
She felt a wild feeling crashing around inside of her, something terrible that had nowhere to escape to.
As if facing the gallows, she turned and watched as Alaric walked into the kitchen with a scowl on his face, throwing a brace of partridge down on the kitchen table and turning his look in her direction.
She couldn’t take it any longer, the feeling burst inside of her, and Hanna picked up her skirts and ran out the back door of the kitchen, dashing through the vegetable patch and scampering over the low stone wall at the back of the house.
In front of her lay the weald, in all its wild, terrible glory, dark and thick with trees. A place she could hide, a place she could get lost in.
She fled for the treeline, holding her skirts high as brambles tore at her wool stockings and the air came hot and heavy in her lungs.
As she made it to the trees she chose a direction and swerved towards the deep thickets. She needed somewhere to hide, somewhere no one would find her. Where she could be safe and alone and …become nothing.
