She lay there as the minutes dragged out, her heart racing, almost choking her as her pulse fluttered and fought in the base of her throat. Trying to keep herself as still as possible.
Hanna could smell the warm scent of Alaric’s skin, hear the rasp of his breath against the back of her neck, blowing across her ear in a way that was both terribly intimate and also terrifying.
Hanna thought on the way Alaric had grabbed her as if it were his natural right.
Well, yes, it was his right.
He was her husband now. Although still, Hanna felt this was an arrangement in name only. No matter what she had said in her vows, she had no real understanding of who Alaric was or what he wanted.
This was not only an act of kindness on his part, that was for sure.
And certainly not with the way his arms wrapped possessively around her.
Hanna knew what he wanted. Alaric had made it very clear that day in the forest when he first propositioned her.
Unfortunately, some secret and truly shameful part of Hanna had responded quietly to the strength of his embrace a moment ago. Her belly had flipped for the smallest moment, her blood warming with a mixture of excitement and fear.
Luckily, those shameful feelings had fled as the memories returned and ice flooded her veins.
Surely it would not be possible for her to have a real marriage?How would Hanna even attempt to broach the subject to Alaric, now that he had bound himself to her?
She risked an annulment at best, and being cast out at the worst.
Her thoughts fluttered anxiously as the minutes turned to what felt like hours, time stretching out until Alaric’s breath slowed and roughened, deep in the depths of slumber.
And even then, his arms did not let her go, not for one moment. If anything, they tightened as he shifted behind her, pulling her bottom tight against his pelvis in a way that made her stiffen, but when she realised he was truly asleep, Hanna slowly started to relax.
Nothing would be asked of her this night, at least so it seemed. At most, he was using her like a hot brick to warm his bed, literally, if not in truth.
Hanna resolutely reminded herself why she was here in this new, strange house. James, her little baby, deserved to grow up with his mother and not live in poverty.
Even though he was illegitimate, as the son of a lord, James should have everything in life strewn before his feet. But the thought of contacting Lord Emsley was unthinkable after his threats to her.
Hanna knew she could not trust a word from that man’s mouth, he was a problem that would not disappear easily. He had ruined her, but she would not allow him to ruin James‘s life, even though she could never give her son what was owed to him.
Emsley would not be able to take James from her now, at least so she hoped.
With Hanna as Alaric’s wife, James would gain a token of respectability. And when faced with the alternative, deep down Hanna knew she would give Alaric what he wanted as long as he kept his promise to give James his name, put a roof over their heads and treat her with even a smidgen of decency.
Somehow,she must’ve drifted off because when Hanna opened her eyes, the grey dawn light was shining through the sides of the shutters.
Grateful to have a reason to get up, Hanna quietly swung herself out of bed and padded over to James, bundling him into her arms and grabbing her gown on the way downstairs.
Quickly lighting a fire in the kitchen, she warmed water for a sponge bath and bounced James on her lap happily until Maria found her way downstairs some time later.
It was an unexpectedly normal domestic morning of baking bread, serving breakfast, cleaning up after and hauling water from the well at the bottom of the back garden. But for some reason, Hanna felt lighter, happier as the day passed without incident.
Alaric had come down, smiled at Hanna and thanked her for breakfast, then tipped his hat to her and Maria, pinched James’s cheek and left for the day as if this new life of theirs was somehow normal.
HANNA
Two days after their marriage, Alaric came home early, stomping through the kitchen and out to the back, surprising Hanna and Maria as they were busy with the wash.
He frowned at the sight, and Hanna shot to her feet, wiping her soap-reddened hands in her apron and wondering if she had displeased him somehow.
“Hanna, will you come with me?” Alaric said. “I am sure Maria can watch James for a time.”
He cocked his brow at the older woman, who nodded with a sly glint in her eye, shooing Hanna off in a brisk manner.
