Chapter Twelve
As soon asKai left, she collapsed, finally allowing herself to cry, to purge her soul of years of silent pain. She still mourned the loss of the mother she never really knew, the death of her father, the suffering she’d endured all these years of not feeling as if she belonged anywhere, and the beating she had received from Cadha. Twas that which had broken her spirit. And she felt useless and weak for not being able to thwart Cadha’s attack. The woman was at least twice her age but so strong.
As another violent sob escaped her lips, the darkest thought crossed her mind. What if she wandered into the snow-covered mountains and simply never came back? Twould be a better fate than living with pain…
As if he had heard her, Kai burst into the tent, rushing to her side and lifting her off the ground. He cradled her tightly against his big warm body and found her bed, sitting on the edge of the furs.
“Miran,” he whispered. “Why are you weeping?”
She curled into his warmth, clinging to his strong arms, her face buried in his chest. If only she could tell him how much he meant to her, that she desperately wanted him to hold her, to love her, to share his confidence and strength with her, to lift her up from the depths of her own despair. To chase away all her suffering and teach her how to embrace joy again. There had been a time, even after her father died, when she had been able to smile from within. Happy memories had sustained her.
What had happened? What had come over her?
Him.
She gazed up at Kai.
She’d always wanted him, from the first time she’d met him. He’d teased her, though, turning his attention to other women, for he considered her nothing more than a girl. But he had been so wrong!
“Did you hear me, lass?”
He called her lass.
She nodded. “I heard ye.”
“Did the old bitch do this to you?”
“Aye.”
She felt his heartbeat hammering and his body went rigid beneath her. He gritted his teeth. “Did she say why?”
“She demanded to know where I was and why I hadn’t found a way to warn her I was with ye. She accused me of being a wanton lass, and told me if my family wouldna beat me, she would.”
“What else?”
She sniffled and sucked in a ragged breath. “She threatened me, told me if I told anyone what she had done, she would tell Jamie and Helen, and anyone else who would listen, that I bedded ye.”
His breathing quieted as he looked off into the distance.
“Kai?”
“Aye?”
“Are ye angry with me?”
“Should I be?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why did you ask such a silly question?”
“I-I do not know. Only…” Miran’s thoughts were all tangled together.
“How could I be angry with you? I am a bit disappointed that you did not trust me sooner. For you can tell me anything, Miran. I only wish to help you.”
Without thinking, she caressed his stubbled cheek with the back of her hand. “I know.”
The look of surprise on his handsome face told her everything she needed to know. She had left him as confused about her feelings for him as she had been about his feelings for her. Father had always taught her words weren’t necessarily the most important thing between a man and woman, but the way they treated each other. Maybe he had been wrong. Perhaps it depended on the man and woman. Obviously, regrettably, she and Kai both required words. Explanations. Truth.
