Truth was hard to swallow sometimes, and Jamie knew it well. Many people had planted that seed in his mind over the last few years. He wasna a follower. His father had groomed him to be a leader, a laird. AndSands Airgid,though not as extensive a holding as Alex’s keep and lands, was self-sufficient, with fertile farming land, a loch and river, and miles of coastline that allowed his men to provide fresh fish to supplement their food stores.
Some of his neighbors were not as prosperous. The MacKays had grown stronger and wealthier over the last three years. Jamie wanted to build on that, to expand MacKay holdings, to provide strong defenses against the Sutherlands and their allies in case another war broke out.
“Ye need a wife,” Crannog said.
“Like I need a hole in my head.”
His friend laughed and lifted his drinking vessel in salute. “A woman might not give ye a hole in the head, but she’ll give ye a hole in yer heart, if ye choose the wrong one.”
As Jamie considered Crannog’s words, he couldna help thinking of the soothsayer from Constantinople. She’d foreseen his future, knew he had ambitions and what they were exactly. The biggest deterrent? Laird Alex MacKay, his beloved cousin—brother—friend. Would he take such a request as a betrayal? A threat? Or would he see the wisdom in it?
Just as he was about to get up, he heard someone moving behind the curtains on the other side of the room. He looked at Crannog. His captain drew his sword and quickly moved to where the noise came from. But when Crannog parted the curtains, no one was there.
“Mice?” Jamie asked, knowing better. All keeps had spies.
“Nay,” Crannog said, walking back to the table. “A pair of secret lovers.”
“Who happened to overhear our conversation.” That’s what concerned Jamie the most. If word ever reached Alex, his cousin would never forgive him.
There were four other MacKay branches. And before Alex reluctantly accepted the lairdship, he’d almost agreed to let the largest absorb Laird John’s holdings. Things had grown that desolate.
Jamie had sworn to never let that happen again. That’s why he spent so much time with Alex instead of at home. With the birth of Alex’s twins, however, his son guaranteed the MacKay lineage would continue.
Jamie’s presence dinna seem necessary any longer. And whenever he could, Alex encouraged Jamie to go home. Why? To be rid of him? Or to allow Jamie time to grow his own family and clan?
Maybe the two of them were thinking alike but had never discussed it out of fear of what the other would say or do. Beyond that, Jamie’s birthright, his mother a cousin to the English king, demanded he seek greater position than just being the head of Alex’s army. A man that dinna know his place could die an early death in the Highlands, that’s what Jamie’s da always said. But then when no one was about, he’d tell Jamie to accomplish more than he had.
Jamie’s sire was a second son. He’d married well, gained land and wealth by way of his mother’s dowry. And Jamie must do the same if he wanted to build a new clan. Marry for purpose not love. Which excluded Lady Helen as a potential wife, for if Jamie spent too much time with her, his heart would make him weak, that much he knew.
Chapter Fifteen
“Do ye promisenot to tell yer husband?” Helen asked Keely while they were alone in the women’s solar the day after Jamie left.
Keely had made the space, located on the second floor, as elegant and comfortable as Helen’s own solar at Dunrobin Castle. A single, arched window allowed natural light to flood in. On the opposite wall was a stone hearth. Above the hearth hung a tapestry honoring Clan Oliphant, Keely’s father’s clan. A trestle table with an embroidered tablecloth and padded benches graced the center of the room. Weaving and embroidery materials were kept in baskets along the north wall. A tray of food and wine was set out on a smaller table in the corner.
“Secrets can hurt a marriage,” Keely told her. “I learned the hard way. But I also value the honesty and trust ye and I share. Is it shameful that Jamie has expressed interest in ye?”
Helen stood up from the trestle table and folded her arms across her chest. “He wishes me to stay away.”
“I doona believe him. I think ye present a challenge, make him think about things he hasna considered in a long time.”
“I asked if we could remain friends.”
Keely gave her a sideways look. “Helen, a man like Jamie doesna want to be yer friend—any woman’s friend.”
That news disappointed Helen greatly. “There’ve been other women, then? That he’s cared about?”
Keely set her embroidery aside. “Of course,” she said without hesitation. “He’s travelled halfway around the world, met many people, done many things. He’s a hot-blooded Highland warrior. Would ye expect any less?”
“No,” she answered regretfully. “I have no adventures to speak of, no great accomplishments to share. To an experienced man such as Jamie, I must appear no different than a child.”
“Why are ye so hard on yerself, Helen?”
“Because I wish for so much more than I have.”
“Ye are not alone.”
“I know.” She reached across the table and squeezed Keely’s hand appreciatively. “I am sorry if I sound selfish. It’s just…”
