“Jamie. For yer own safety, for the future of the people that rely on ye here…”
“I have heard it many times before.” Jamie dinna want to be chastised by his friend, he wanted to drink and forget, to make love to a woman he could take to his bed without feeling guilty for doing it.
“Tis the way of the world,” Crannog said. “If we are ever to gain the blessing of Laird Alex and form our own branch of Clan MacKay, ye must demonstrate the ability to make wise choices, to value yerself, to accept the responsibility of not travelling alone, of not making yerself an easy target for our enemies.”
“Doona mistake me for a soft man like my cousin, Laird John, God rest his soul.”
“Why have ye really returned?” Crannog asked. “Ye are in a black mood.”
Jamie sucked in a breath, tempted to tell all. “There are things in this world a man canna have, and I chose to distance myself from it.”
Crannog cocked his head, eyeing him. “Is this about the Sutherland woman?”
Jamie dinna like that word about Lady Helen had already reached his home. What other rumors were being spread? “Tis aboutallwomen,” Jamie said.
“All women?” Crannog repeated. “With ye? I doona believe it. It would take a certain kind of woman to tie ye up in knots inside. And from what I hear, that lady has golden hair like a Valkyrie and the eyes of an angel.”
He wouldna bring shame upon Helen, but his captain knew him too well. “I would be a liar if I denied the lass has affected me in ways I am not used to.”
Crannog laughed heartily and slapped his master on the back. “Why do ye think I refused to marry Merry MacDonald all those years ago? With one look from that crazed lass I knew my life would never be my own again. Tis better to keep amàthair. At least she knows what her duties are, and in the morn, she leaves ye alone.”
Jamie dinna want Lady Helen to leave him alone. In fact, he hated himself for abandoning her at the doors of the keep. He’d run away like a scared child, unable to face the reality of how she affected him. He couldna imagine what it would be like to spend even more time around her, to get to know her, share his secrets with her, and learn what made her the proud woman she was. Intimacy put the fear of God in Jamie. Not bedding a lass. He knew how to make a woman sigh, how to leave her wanting more—all of him.
With Helen, though he had wanted to lift her skirts and make passionate love to her by the loch, honor and caring held him back. He wouldna take her innocence unless he did the right thing by her. And the thought of committing himself to one woman for the rest of his life, no matter how beautiful and intelligent, no matter how charitable and kind she might be, wasn’t enough to convince him to marry. Not yet.
Twas better to escape before he was sucked deeper into her life.
And the chances of her powerful father, the Earl of Sutherland, letting her stay with the MacKays, was a fantasy. The man would use all of his influence to reclaim his daughter and marry her off to the bastard Jamie had come to hate over the last few days—Laird Baran Munroe.
He’d never wanted to kill a man he dinna know before. Aye, he’d met him once at a meeting of the northern clans. It had only taken a few minutes to realize the kind of violence Munroe was capable of.
“Is she as beautiful as they say?” Crannog asked as they walked inside the manor house.
Before Jamie could answer, he looked about, appreciating the refinement of his great hall. He’d entrusted the women from the MacKay keep to decorate his home. Everything was new, from the sturdy and elaborately carved trestle tables, the matching, leather-padded, high-back chairs, the thick furs on the stone floor, the elaborate tapestries on the walls—some brought back from Constantinople—to the pure silver candle stands displayed on the spacious dais where the high table stood.
Two hearths warmed the hall, the fires bright and inviting. An array of comfortable chairs and benches were arranged around the hearths, places where the men could gather in the evening and discuss whatever business they had. Jamie had spared no cost furnishing his home. He would not have it said that he dinna deserve this place. Even the gray stones that formed the walls had been scrubbed to near newness, making visible the unique vein of blue that ran through the stones.
“Ye look as if ye’re seeing this place for the first time,” his captain observed.
“It feels like it,” Jamie admitted, walking deeper into the hall. “I am a proud man. And I think my da and ma would approve of everything we did to reestablish their old home.”
“I knew yer sire well. I remember this house. Aye, he is likely smiling down from heaven.”
Jamie stepped onto the dais and claimed the laird’s chair at the center of the high table, inviting Crannog to sit to his right.
Several maids hurried into the hall carrying trenchers filled with roasted venison and smoked haddock, onions and pickled cabbage, bread and butter, roasted nuts, and ale. One placed a silver platter in front of Jamie, then a pewter one in front of his captain. Choosing a piece of backstrap, Jamie tasted the meat, savoring the flavor of the seasoned juice. He smiled at his friend as he washed the meat down with a swallow of ale.
“A man could get used to this,” Jamie said.
“The MacKays have flourished under Laird Alex’s care, and now yers.”
“If it weren’t for the trip to Constantinople…”
Crannog shook his head. “Nay, Jamie, ye would have found a way to get yer home back. Ye and Alex canna spend a lifetime sharing power. A man can only serve one master.”
Jamie frowned. “I doona share power with my cousin. He is laird over the MacKays.”
Crannog drummed his fingers on the table, looking unconvinced. “How many times will ye deny yer ancestral right to form a new branch of the MacKay clan? The men serving ye support it. I support it. And in the back of yer stubborn mind, ye know it’s the right thing to do.”
