CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Starlet
Imanaged tokeep down two bowls of cereal, watch a movie with Angel and Juanita, and take a shower by myself without going crazy from worry over Brick. Now it’s eleven PM and he’s still not back yet. The rest of the compound is eerily quiet—all the old ladies and kids are asleep. Looking out the only window in Brick’s room, I can see a couple of the brothers who are on watch duty. One of them is carrying an AK47, a definite sign of how dangerous this situation has become.
I sigh and let the curtain fall back into place.
There’s so much to be thankful for. First and foremost, Brick. I can’t believe he claimed me. Regretfully, I can’t remember that moment. Does he truly love me, or did he do it out of guilt and obligation? Not that it really matters, I belong to him now, with or without mutual feelings. I can live with it, but can he? Will he resent me sixth months from now? What about three years from now? What if he meets another woman and falls in love with her? I fist my hands at my sides, wishing I could turn off my overactive imagination.
Having already tried to fall asleep a couple of times, it’s useless to try again.
I quietly open the bedroom door and gaze down the hallway. Juanita is asleep in the room across the way and I don’t want to wake her—she’s been through enough. Her boyfriend is staying at her house until she gets back. I shake my head at the web of sorrow and trouble my life has created.
Placing blame on my father would be the easy way out. But somehow, after sitting here alone for a couple of hours, I’ve had a chance to glean through my memories. I should have stood up for myself a long time ago. The first time Sammy made me transport drugs over the border. The first time I watched him beat another member’s old lady. So many lost opportunities to protect myself and others. Which makes me a coward.
Just as I’m about to step out, I hear the rumble of multiple bikes outside. I close my eyes, Brick is back. I shut the door and run to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. Do I still look terrible, like I haven’t slept in weeks?
Surprisingly, no. My coloring has returned and my green eyes are bright and aware, just like my body. Aware that the man I love is just a few feet away. Chills spiral up my spine, raising gooseflesh on my arms. What’s wrong with me?
Heavy footsteps sound in the hallway and I turn the light off in the bathroom, frozen in the doorway. This is the moment I’ve waited for—my one chance at a new life. Not that I ever imagined it would include another biker. But it does.
The door to the bedroom opens…
“Starlet?”
I stare, stunned silent.
“Starlet?” he calls again, stepping deeper inside the room.
He finally sees me and opens up his arms.
Without hesitation, I run to him, and he scoops me up. “Jesus, sweetheart.”
I hold on for dear life, praying he’s real. “Brick—I-I…”
He pulls back. “Shhh. Right now, all I want to do is feel you in my arms.” He tugs me back against his chest. I’m thankful he won’t see the tears trailing down my cheeks.
After what seems like forever, he slips out of my embrace and sits on the edge of the bed, ready to take his boots off. I kneel in front of him, doing the honors. I owe him so much—and this is a demonstration of pure love and respect. He starts to say something, perhaps to stop me.
“Let me do this, please.”
“Okay.”
Once his shoes are off, I guide him back on the mattress, then unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. With a little help, I strip him down to his boxers. He sits up again, and I remove his cut, folding it in half and placing it on top of the dresser. Brick removes his own T-shirt. I’m standing a couple of feet away, and our gazes lock, my heart about to explode with emotion.
“I’m so grateful, Brick. So very grateful and equally sorry.”
“Sorry for what, sweetheart?”
“For putting you in danger, for forcing you to make a choice between me and your patch. I understand if you want to change your mind. If you don’t want an old lady.”
He sighs and places his palms on his knees. “Do you think so little of me, baby?”
“Of course not!” Why would he ever think that? “You were caught up in the moment, overwhelmed by emotions. I know you care.”
“I care, huh?” He rises to his full height and I feel so small, so insignificant. “Is that what you think, Starlet? All you can come up with?” He closes the distance between us but doesn’t crowd me or touch me, though I want him to.
“I don’t understand, Brick?”
