“Yeah.”
“Most of it. Until patch-wearing assholes come into my shop.” She smiles at me and my shoulders relax some. “Brick may very well be different, a little more judicious than some members, but he’s still a brother. That will never change.”
“I know.” I suck in a ragged breath, accepting the full truth more easily. Brick represents everything I regret about my past. However, I find it impossible to blow him off. “I have to go to that dinner tomorrow.”
“Yeah—you do. If you can convince them to protect you, there might be some hope in the future for old ladies who want to leave the life.”
I consider her words carefully and note the sincerity with which she spoke. I’m not just representing myself tomorrow, I’m also standing up for Juanita and any other woman who has no voice. It might seem insignificant to a normal person, but to me, if I can prove to Eagle and Brick that I just want to get on with my life and will never break my vow of silence to the Devil’s Crusaders, I might have a real chance. After all, that’s what this all about. Silence—not talking about club secrets.
Yeah, I’m club royalty, but there’s younger and prettier girls out there dying to marry Silver. Women flock around him. I’m not one of them.
“I understand, Juanita. I’ll do my best.”
“Is there any reasonable arguments that can be made in defense of your decision to run away from the club?”
“Everything you already know. The rape and abuse, my unhappy marriage, Sammy’s infidelity, the drug running. Isn’t that enough?”
“Not really.” She sits on the bed again. “You need to come up with something better. Give the Iron Norsemen a reason to keep you around. An abusive, prick of a husband is nothing special—that’s like vanilla ice cream to an MC.”
Regrettably, she’s correct. “What if I knew something that could hurt the Iron Norsemen?”
“That might get their attention.” She checks the alarm clock on my nightstand. “I’m tired, Starlet. Is it okay for me to give that man a blanket and pillow?”
“Sure. Whatever he wants.”
Juanita gives me another hug and then walks to the door. As she opens it, I catch Brick standing in the hallway, looking impatient.
“You ladies done henpecking?”
I roll my eyes. “That’s really nice, Brick.”
He shifts on his feet. “I’m not sleeping on the couch.”
Juanita takes one look at me, then him, and raises her hands in mock surrender. “I’m going to bed. The two of you work your shit out.”
“Smart woman,” he says as Juanita disappears down the hallway.
“Why are you making things difficult?” He steps into my bedroom uninvited, but not unwanted—though I’d never admit it.
“Because I don’t trust you, Starlet. You lied to me twice already. You misrepresented yourself when we met and acted like you didn’t know me outside the restaurant. History matters. And…” He points to the window. “Wouldn’t take much for you to pop outside in the middle of the night.”
“That’s absurd.”
“No, it’s not.” He closes the door.
“Fine.” I’m on edge now. I need to be well rested and ready to give my all tomorrow. “You’re not sleeping in my bed.” I snatch the wool throw and toss it at him. “Sweet dreams, Brick.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond. I turn off the light and crawl into bed. It’s so quiet I can hear him breathing. Unfortunately, that makes me think about how breathless and sweaty he gets after pumping inside of me for an hour. I reposition myself on my left side, facing the wall.
“Comfy?” he asks.
“Are you going to stand there all night?” Knowing he’s hovering in the dark somewhere makes me nervous. I don’t like being watched. I spent a lifetime worrying about everything I said and did when Sammy was alive.
With a sigh, he pulls his boots off. It’s not easy making him sleep on the floor, part of me wants him to climb in my bed and make love to me. But I need to prove something to Brick. I’m not the kind of woman that’s going to shrink away from what I want just because he barks orders at me. I claimed my freedom the night I left the Devil’s Crusaders compound. The fear I experienced walking out of there—the deeply ingrained paranoia that if I got caught the brothers would punish me in the worst way—those feelings don’t just disappear overnight, if ever.
I know Juanita told me she’s nearly forgotten everything that happened to her, but we’re not the same. I’m just learning to crawl. My best friend soars above the dark clouds that dominated her life for so long.
“Goodnight, Starlet.”
I snap back to the present. That’s it? He’s not going to fight to share my bed? I wait as he arranges himself on the floor, knowing how uncomfortable he’ll be. Twenty minutes later, I’m proven wrong. He’s out, right in front of the door. Great, he can sleep anywhere, as for me, I’ll be lucky if I get any rest.
