Chapter Twenty-nine
Serafina
I can’t believe how late I slept. Stretching, I check the bedside clock a second time just to make sure I didn’t misread it. Eleven o’clock. We made love all night, not falling asleep until close to sunrise. My body is sore in unmentionable places, but I feel more alive than I ever have. I can’t stop the perma-grin on my face. I feel safe and loved for the first time in six years.
And dear God, I’m getting married today. Married! Can it be true? Did all my sins get washed away because the brothers believed my story? Can Eagle really forgive me for everything so quickly? The memorial wall in the meeting room is forever etched in my mind. The faces of those dead men. I’m the reason they died. I’m the reason the Iron Norsemen waged war on the Dead Dogs.
I scan the bedroom. The curtains are closed, but I can see it’s another overcast day. Only slivers of pale sunlight bleed into Eagle’s bedroom. He’s gone, hopefully downstairs waiting for me or just across the street at the shop.
I roll out of bed and search his bottom dresser drawer for a T-shirt and shorts. That’s where he always kept them before. I find a red pair of boxers and a Black Sabbath shirt older than me. After washing my face and brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I tie my hair in a messy bun and consider my reflection in the mirror.
How will the old ladies react to my sudden return from the grave? I anticipate some resentment. I expect there to be a lot of questions to answer. Eagle will no doubt instruct them to keep their thoughts to themselves. But once the brothers are out of sight, the old ladies follow their own code of conduct. There’s a hierarchy, a demand for unwavering loyalty, and a price to pay if you go against them. I’ve seen what happens to a woman marked as an outcast. Covering my face with both hands, I pray with all of my heart that Belle will convince the women to give me a chance.
I head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and find a fresh pot brewed. There’s a bouquet of white roses lying on the countertop by a large mug, a house key, and a note from Eagle.
Gone to Cameron to get our marriage license from the constable. Your backpack is by the front door. Give Belle a call once you’re ready to go. She’s waiting at the clubhouse. I love you, Angel.
There’s also a list of phone numbers: the clubhouse, shops, several of the old ladies, and the officers of the Iron Norsemen. After pouring myself a cup of java, I arrange the flowers in a vase I found in the cabinets underneath the sink, and then head to the shower.
Belle arrives five minutes after I call her.
“Good morning, sunshine,” she says, as she steps into the house. “How did things go last night?” She sits down at the dining room table.
I join her, heat rising in my cheeks. “Perfect.”
“Yeah?” She smiles and covers my hand with hers. “Judging by Eagle’s shit-eating grin this morning, I’d say he felt the same way.”
“How much do you know about the last six years, Belle?” What has Eagle told her?
“Don’t worry, sweetie. Nothing for you to be ashamed of. I know you saved yourself for Eagle.”
“I’m the cause of a lot of pain and suffering, Belle. Poor Crocket and Panther. And what about the others? No matter how hard I try to focus on the good, their faces keep popping up in my thoughts.”
“Those men died fighting for what they believed in most. Trust me, Angel. As much as I miss them, once they patched in to the Iron Norsemen, they understood the cost of becoming a brother. The oath they take includes dying for the club.”
“Yeah,” I say. “For a true cause.”
“Don’t fall apart now,” she advises. “You’ve come too far to regret it. You were a sixteen-year-old girl, sweetie. No one will say a word to you. And if they do, they’ll have to deal with me first and then the brothers. Eagle and Tonsils made it abundantly clear to everyone—we’re to treat you like you never left.” She leans over and gives me a squeeze. “Lord knows, I don’t ever want to go back to that cemetery to place flowers by your plaque again.”
“Y-you visited me?”
She nods. “A couple times a month. Eagle visited faithfully, too.”
My brain races with all kinds of images, including the memory of visiting myself. I don’t want to remember any of it. But how could I ever forget? Even on my wedding day . . . “If I can’t forget, how can anyone else be expected to?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I know how I felt last night seeing you for the first time. I’m sure the other old ladies will feel the same. Anything negative is overshadowed by the simple joy of knowing you’re here now.”
I have to hold onto Mama Belle’s words for dear life and live by what she’s saying. Throw out the past and embrace the now. Live in the moment. I know the pain of erasing a life I hardly had a chance to live. I wouldn’t wish that living hell on anyone.
“The old ladies are waiting at the clubhouse for us. I know your wedding day was rushed and there’s no time to make all the plans you’d like to, but you’d be surprised what a dozen determined women can pull together on such short notice.” She gets up. “And if you’d like me to dye your hair back to its natural color, I have the necessary ingredients for it.”
“Is it safe to?” I finger a strand of my dark hair, wondering what it would feel like to be a blond again. “What if someone recognizes me?”
“Angel . . .” She gives me a sad smile. “If Eagle hadn’t told me who you are, I would never have recognized you.”
“I know.” The stranger I see in the mirror still takes some getting used to. “I’d love to be blond again. And I can’t wait to see the old ladies.”
I grab my backpack and then lock the front door. Several brothers are patrolling the area and nod when we walk by. If there’s no clear and present danger to me and the club, why are there active guards everywhere? Just a precaution, I tell myself as Belle drags me to the clubhouse.
