She started to protest again, but Wally stood and walked into his office before she uttered a word. She stared after him, mainly because she didn’t want to face Ben when it was just the two of them.
“Paige...”
“Don’t call me that.” She turned back but couldn’t meet his eyes. Her hands settled on her lap, and she stared at them.
“It’s your name.”
She shook her head. “Not anymore.”
“And why is that?”
She lifted her eyes to meet his. “You think because you convinced Wally to take your side that I’m going to tell you everything? Believe me. You don’t want to know.”
“You’re wrong about that, but I understand why you don’t want to talk. We don’t know each other. Not really. But I hope you’ll listen. I have a lot I want to tell you. All I ask is that you hear me out. Then if you want me to leave, I will.”
Her eyes narrowed as a realization dawned on her. “You have secrets too.”
“Something like that.”
“I don’t want to know, Ben. I can’t. What I’m dealing with...it’s too big for me to take on your secrets too.”
“That’s just it. My shoulders are big enough to carry mine and yours. I can ease your burden.”
Paige shook her head. “No one wants to carry mine.”
“Like I said, hear me out and then decide.”
Her head told her to say no, but her heart wasn’t in it. She wanted to hear what Ben had to say. She wanted to know more about the man he was now. What had happened in his life since they had known each other? Why was he so anxious to help her? What secrets did he have that would make a difference to her situation now?
“I’ll listen.”
Ben didn’t bother to hide his relief that she agreed. “Is there somewhere more private we can go?”
She nodded. “Come on.”
She didn’t bother knocking before leading him through Wally’s office. She had no doubt that her boss had been listening, and she refused to look his way when he likely watched herwith a knowing expression. Stepping through the back exit, she headed to the grassy area beside the back parking lot. Though it was out in the open, no one would disturb them. She sat at the picnic table and waited for Ben to join her. She kept silent, giving him the chance to say what he wanted to say.
“I’m not sure where to start.”
Paige guffawed. “I know the feeling. I’m still trying to reconcile that you are the boy I knew when I was six.”
He grinned. “A lot has happened since we hung out at the clubhouse. It’s still there, you know.”
“It is?”
“I still live in Fire Creek. I go by there sometimes. Not a lot. It’s hard, even now, to go there by myself. That was always our spot. It wasn’t the same after you moved.”
“That was so long ago.”
“It was not long after that when I went to live with Gish and my brothers. Everything I told you about them was true. You already knew that my dad was never in my life, and my mom...well, she never wanted me around. One day, she left and never came home. I found out later that she overdosed on heroin, and since she had no ID on her, the city labeled her a Jane Doe. No one knew to come for me.
“I was scared of what was going to happen to me when she didn’t come home, so I never told anyone about it. I pretended everything was okay, and whenever anyone came by the apartment looking for her, I made excuses about why she wasn’t there. I started doing odd jobs for people in the neighborhood and used that money to buy food. I thought I was keeping up the pretense, but my landlord knew. He lived in the building,and when the rent went unpaid, and he stopped seeing my mom around, he figured she’d abandoned me.”
Ben placed his arms on top of the picnic table and leaned forward. “My three brothers all came from rough upbringings, and Gish took them in when they had nowhere to go. My landlord told me he knew where my mom was, and he was going to take me to her. Instead, he left me at the bar for Gish to find.”
Paige thought she was all cried out, but she felt tears prick the back of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I knew things were bad for you at home, but I had no idea.”
“No reason why you would. We were six. We didn’t talk about that stuff. Hell, with my stutter, I didn’t talk at all if I could help it.”
