I reach the platform just as the train pulls away, the wheels whirring.
“Stop the train!” I shout. “Stop the train!”
“We can’t stop it,” a guard in a blue uniform says firmly, moving to block me. “If you’ve missed it, you’ve missed it. You can catch the next one.”
I turn on him at this. “Where is it going?”
He blinks. “What do you mean, where is it going?”
Then recognition flickers across his face and his jaw slackens. “Are you the prince?”
“Is the train going to Villadorata?”
The guard looks totally confused. “Yes, Villadorata. But surely you… don’t you have a royal train?”
“Yes,” I say in reply, already turning away. “Thank you.” I bolt from the platform to find Tommaso just inside the station vestibule.
“We need to go to Villadorata,” I tell him. “Now.”
Chapter Seventeen
Astrid
I slump backin my seat, staring out the window as trees and houses begin to blur outside. I know I’ve done the right thing in leaving. There was no other choice.
Last night, I had a glimpse of my future. I would always hope for more from Fred, and he would never give it. It was like one of those flashbulb moments you read about, and in that moment I knew. Frederic will never allow himself to love me. Heck, I don’t even know if he trulylikesme.
The glimpses of the man beneath the tightlyheld veneer are just that: glimpses. Everything we shared last night was a momentary lapse for him, a crack that closed almost as soon as it appeared. I’m developing real feelings for him, but he’s exactly as the papers describe. He’s a marble statue, beautiful and untouchable, his heart well and truly locked away from me.
He’ll never give me the key.
I can’t live my life like that.
I didn’t sleep last night. I paced the room until dawn, turning everything over and over in my mind. I was a fool to think he could open himself up to me. He’s shown me again and again who he is. He’s stiff. Formal. Guarded.
I was too full of hope and some childish, romantic notion that we were meant to be.
How could I love a man like that? And, more poignantly, how could a man like that ever loveme?
As the train descends from the mountains Mama’s words ring in my ears.We can survive without you being with someone you don’t want to marry.In those words, she gave me permission to follow my heart. At first, I thought it was to be with Frederic.
Now I know I was only kidding myself.
I need someone with light in their eyes and fire in their belly. Someone who wants to live fully, who wants to be my partner in life, not just my husband in name. Not a loveless marriage to a man too emotionally closed off to give me what I need.
My lips press together as hot tears spring to my eyes, my throat tight, my stomach churning. I’ve cried so much over Fred since he said goodnight last night. I thought there could be nothing left. Still, I swipe my tears away with my fingertips andlift my chin.
I’ve made my decision, and I know it’s the right one for me.
A hand settles gently on my hand and I look up to find Anya watching me with quiet concern.
“You’ll be okay, Asti,” she says, and not for the first time this morning. “You gave it your best.”
I nod, even as my heart feels like it’s splitting in two. “I thought he was the one, Anya. I thought I could get him to open up, that I could find the man beneath all that protocol and duty. I couldn’t.”
“I know,” she replies. “You’ll recover from this. I know you. You’ll bounce back and see the good in everything once more. Soon you’ll be home with all the goats and chickens you could ever want. With a family who loves you.”
My family.
