Oh God…
Her heart jumped; her knees buckled at the contact. She hadn’t known what she wanted until he touched her. Until she felt the pressure of his hand on her mound. Until she felt his big, strong finger delve inside her. Stroking, plunging in and out, making the pool of desire low in her belly start to tighten and coil. And pulse. Frantically. She pushed back against his hand, wanting him to go faster. Deeper. Harder. She cried out, feeling the pleasure build.
It was everything she’d always dreamed of. And so much more.
“God, you’re so wet and tight. You’ve got me so hard, I feel like I’m going to explode. I can’t wait to come inside you, Joanna.”
Joanna.
Helen stilled, the sound of the other woman’s name in his voice a cold shock of reality. All this passion wasn’t for her, it was for Joanna. Suddenly, the fact that he thought he was doing this with someone else wasn’t enough. She needed him to know it was her.
“Magnus, I—”
The suddenness of his movement stopped her. His hand was gone and he pushed away from her as if she’d burned him.
Perhaps she had.
Jerking her away from the door, he swung it open. A beam of soft candlelight flooded the room.
He swore, the look of disgust on his face cutting her to the quick.
She staggered, her legs unsteady from the loss of his support and from the harshness of his expression.
“You!” The accusation of that one word pierced her heart.
Helen took a step toward him, her body still pulsing with desire. “Aye, me.” She reached out to put her hand on his arm, but he flinched from her touch.
“Don’t,” he bit out through clenched teeth.
“Why not? I want to touch you. A moment ago you said you couldn’t wait—”
He grabbed her arm and hauled her up against him, his cheeks stained red. “I know what I said, damn it. I know exactly what I said. But that wasn’t meant for you. None of it was meant for you!”
Helen flinched at the brutal cruelty. Heat tightened her throat. But she refused to let his words hurt her. “But itwasme. It is me you want.” She looked up into that handsome face fierce with anger and embarrassment, and dared him to deny her. “I can still feel your hands on my body. In my body,” she said softly. “I still ache for you.” She lowered her eyes, letting her gaze rest on the big bulge between his legs. “And I think you still ache for me.”
The drink had made her bold. Now was not the time for maidenly reserve.Seize the day. Before he guessed what she meant to do, she reached down and covered him with her hand.
She’d never touched a man before and the feel of him beating beneath her palm, hard and thick, only heightened her curiosity. She knew what was supposed to happen, but he felt much too big to go inside her.
A sound almost like a hiss seeped out from between his tightly clenched lips. But it was the only crack in his otherwise implacable facade. If her touch affected him, he wasn’t going to do anything about it. His control angered her when her own body was still weeping for his touch.
“Do you deny that you want me?” She leaned against him, letting her breasts brush against his chest.
She was rewarded with the flex of a muscle beneath his jaw. He did want her, but he was determined to deny them both. Throwing caution completely into the fire, she lifted up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against that spot. His skin was warm and scratchy, with the faint taste of soap and salt. She’d placed her hand on his chest to balance herself and felt his heart stop for a beat. But then it began to beat again, hard and angry.
Furious, he set her aside, every muscle straining with anger. “I know what you are doing and it won’t work. I’m not going to change my mind.”
Helen stared at him, not understanding why he was choosing to hold on to the past and his memories of a friend over her. The hot prick of frustration gathered behind her eyes. How easy it was for him to pull himself back from a precipice when she was still falling! “Would it be so horrible if you did?”
For one moment his expression cracked, and she could see the longing that mirrored her own.
“There are things you don’t know,” he said hoarsely.
“Then tell me.”
He held her gaze, a strange look crossing his face. Guilt? Shame? But then the mask fell back into place, and he turned away. “It makes no difference. It will not change anything. I can’t do this.”
A steel curtain had come down around him, and she knew it was useless to argue, but she couldn’t help trying. “Can’t, or won’t?” He didn’t say anything, but the look of pity in his gaze made it seem so much worse. She wanted to bang on his chest and force him to let her inside. She wasn’t alone in this. She wasn’t. “Yet you had no problem when you thought it was someone else?”
