“I’ve heard Argyll’s promises before,” she scoffed. “Will he act as fairly with them as he did with Alasdair MacGregor? Did you convince me to help turn them in so that Argyll can kill them also?”
He took her arm and lifted her out of the chair, pulling her hard against him. She could feel the tautness of his muscles and the heat radiating from his body. His face darkened with barely contained fury. “Damn you, Caitrina, you know I had nothing to do with that.”
“Do I?” She turned her head sharply away, refusing to look at him. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
He was silent, but she could see the ominous tick at his neck and knew he was furious. But she didn’t care. She wanted him to feel as hurt and betrayed as she did.
His voice was low and forbidding. “I warned you once not to interfere with my duty.”
She remembered: when he’d imprisoned her father’s guardsmen. “That was different.”
“Was it? You said you trusted me. I believe you even claimed to love me not so many hours ago.”
How dare he throw her feelings back in her face with what he intended to do! “It’s not that simple.”
“Actually, it is.” He took her chin in his hands and forced her gaze back to his. “Love can’t be by half-measure. It’s all or nothing. Either you trust me—and my judgment—or you don’t.”
He asked for too much. Heat gathered behind her eyes. “How would you know? You, who hold yourself so apart. You, who don’t need anyone. What do you know of love?”
“Plenty.” His voice snapped like the crack of a whip. “Though right now I wish I didn’t.”
Her heart faltered and then started to pound furiously. Her gaze raked his face, searching for a crack in that implacable façade. “What are you saying?”
“Damn it, Caitrina, don’t you know how much I love you? So much that there is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But I can’t change who I am.”
For a moment, she savored the overwhelming burst of joy.He loves me.The words she’d longed to hear. . . .
But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. When they confessed their love, it was supposed to be perfect—a moment of unparalleled closeness and intimacy—it wasn’t supposed to make her feel more uncertain. Nor was it supposed to be spoken in anger and frustration.
Instead, it felt like a final offer. Blinking back tears, she turned her head from his hold. “I wish I could believe that.”
“You can.” He lifted her chin gently, examining the bandaged area of her neck, assuring himself that it was not bleeding. “Don’t you know how I felt seeing you with a blade at your neck? I’ve never been more terrified in my life. I could have lost you.”
“It’s nothing,” she dismissed. “No more than a scratch.”
His jaw hardened. “I never should have let you go, it was too dangerous.”
“I needed to be there. I needed to explain.”
“Your brothers will understand.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I’m confident that it will all work out for the best.”
She lifted her chin. “I don’t share your confidence. It’s my brothers’ lives at stake.” Her voice thickened with emotion. “I just got them back. Please don’t take them from me again.”
“I’m not taking them from you,” he said with exaggerated patience, each word uttered with careful precision. It was clear he was near the edge, holding himself by a very thin thread. “I’m trying to protect them.”
“How?” she asked, incredulous. “By arresting them?”
“While they are in my custody, Colin can’t do anything to them. If I can clear their names, they’ll be out of his reach for good. Would you rather I waited until my cousin was forced to send his men after them? Your brother and his men are outlaws—they can’t stay here indefinitely. Eventually they will need to face what they’ve done.”
Caitrina felt as though she were beating her head against a rock. The law. Duty. It was always the same. “Is that all that matters to you? The law?” She held his gaze, knowing where his rigid adherence to law and order came from. “You are not your brother, Jamie. Don’t hurt mine to bury the memory of yours.”
He flinched at the reference to Duncan. His eyes flared and she wondered if she’d gone too far. “You know nothing of what happened with Duncan. This has nothing to do with my brother, only with yours. I thought you wanted Ascog restored to Niall.”
“I do.”
