His eyes narrowed as if he knew she was teasing him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, studying her intently, as if to assure himself that she was really recovered. “Why would you go to the village when you knew there was a fever?”
She lifted her chin, not liking his tone. “I wanted to help, and it was not a serious one. Besides, it is my duty as Lady of the Castle to tend the villagers. You made it quite clear that I was to restrict myself to certain tasks.”
He winced. “I might have spoken harshly—”
“Might have?” she interrupted, arching a brow.
He frowned at her again, but she was becoming quite immune to those black looks. Who would have thought that the girl who cowered in the shadows a couple of months ago would be standing up to the most feared warrior in the Highlands?
“I’m used to speaking bluntly, and I was angry,” he said. “I’m also not accustomed to someone ignoring my orders.”
“Are you trying to apologize?”
He frowned as if the notion surprised him. “I suppose I am. You were right in some of what you said. Not everything is about my duty to my clan, but I’ve grown so used to keeping my thoughts to myself, I’m not sure I know how to be any other way.”
Christina was shocked that her words had made an impact. “Haven’t you ever wanted to have someone to talk to? Someone to listen to? Being responsible for so many people, it must be an incredible burden to shoulder alone. Having someone to talk to might make it easier.”
He looked thoughtful. “Perhaps.”
She tilted her head, studying him curiously. “Why is sharing your thoughts so difficult for you?”
He held her gaze. From his silence, it appeared he was waging some kind of internal debate. She was pleased when he answered her. “Because it is my duty as chief to keep my own counsel. I know only too well the harm that can come when I do not.”
“What happened?”
“I told you of the raid on Dunvegan that killed my parents?” She nodded. “My father was betrayed by a man he thought a friend—a kinsman. The Earl of Ross used information he’d tricked from my mother to order the attack that killed my parents and nearly destroyed my clan. Women, children—no one escaped the bloodletting. It was a slaughter.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, horrified. She hadn’t realized when he’d told her before. “You were there.”
He nodded, his eyes bleak. “Aye. Hidden in the chapel with my brother and sister. My father lived long enough to tell me what happened.” He paused. “My mother was not so fortunate by the time Ross’s men had finished with her.”
She gasped, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
But Christina was not fooled. He lived with the legacy of that day even today. It was why he kept himself detached. Alone. Her heart went out to him. To the little boy who’d seen his parents killed and his clan nearly destroyed, and was burdened with the weight of putting it all back together. “And afterward, you were left to pick up the pieces?”
He looked at her as if it should be obvious. “I was chief.”
“But you were only ten,” she said, appalled. It was far too much responsibility for any one person, let alone a child so young. He wouldn’t have stayed a child for long.
“I managed.”
She put her hand on his arm. “Quite well, it seems. Your clan is fortunate to have you.” He was an amazing man. She’d known it before, but hearing what he’d gone through made her even more proud of him. And determined. After the selfless devotion to his clan for years, he deserved some happiness for himself.
She sensed this was all she was going to get out of him for now. The fact that he’d opened up even just a little bit was quite an achievement—a miracle, really. Seeing him struggle and get all prickly, she was hard-pressed not to throw her arms around him—he looked so adorable. But the world was not made in a day, and neither would her husband change a lifetime of silence.
“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “I was so focused on you confiding in me, I never stopped to think about what I was really asking for. I wish you could confide in me, but I understand why you cannot.”
“I am trying to protect you, Christina, not hurt you.”
“I know that.”
“I don’t want you interfering because it is dangerous. I need you to trust me on this.” His eyes fixed on her intently. “Can you do that?”
She nodded, though she wished the trust were mutual.
He seemed to consider something. When he spoke it was very carefully, as if the words did not come easily. “I would like to suggest a compromise.”
