“Aye, but after that. If things were different, what side would you have picked?”
Her brows furrowed. “What does that matter anymore? The decision was made for me many years ago.”
“What if it did matter? What if you could go back? What if you and David could be in Scotland with your former brother-in-law right now, would you do it?”
Her face shadowed. He could tell she was beginning to get annoyed with his questions. “What difference does it make? It’s hypothetical. We are here, making the best out of the situation that we can.”
“Don’t you want to go home Mary?”
“Of course I do,” she snapped, finally losing her temper. “I miss my home, as I’m sure you do. But it does me no good to wish for things that aren’t possible.”
He held her gaze intently. “What if they were?”
She stilled, her voice lowered to a whisper—as if the walls had ears. “You should not speak that way. It’s dangerous.”
“I would never let anything happen to you, Mary. You know that, don’t you?”
Her eyes raked his face. “Why are you talking to me like this? What are you trying to tell me?”
“That it’s time to go home.”
Twenty-four
Mary stared at him, at first not understanding what he was saying. But a dark shadow of premonition had begun to creep its way up her consciousness. “I can’t go home. King Edward would never allow it.”
“Edward won’t know. Not until it’s too late, anyway.”
Fear washed over her. She shook her head. “No. I lost my sister the last time I tried to flee. Why are you talking this way? Has something happened? Is Sir John making it difficult for you? Surely, it couldn’t be so bad as to make you question your loyalty?”
He didn’t say anything, and all of a sudden the truth hit her.Loyalty.
She drew back in horror, understanding sinking like a stone in her gut. She knew why he’d been asking her all those strange questions earlier. Why his sudden shift of allegiance hadn’t made sense. Why he’d talked so fondly about a brother he was supposed to hate.
“Oh God.” She covered her mouth, feeling sick. Betrayal ripped inside her like a jagged knife. “You never changed allegiance, did you? You are working for Robert.”
She inched back, but he reached out to catch her arm. “Mary, wait. Let me explain.”
Heat choked her throat, hurt and disbelief filled her eyes with tears. “Explain what? That you deceived me?”
“I had no choice. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this, but I made you a vow.”
Anger helped to forestall the tears. She made a harsh sound of disbelief. “It’s rather late to remember that, isn’t it? You promised not to embroil me or my children in anything dangerous, but you did that the moment you forced me to marry you.”
From the glint in his eyes, she could tell he took exception to her choice of words. “I couldn’t tell you then. Not when I wasn’t sure of your feelings for me.”
A second wave of understanding hit, this one even harder than the first—if that were possible. “And now you are,” she said numbly. “I see. Was that why you went to such an effort to seduce me? So that I would follow you willingly like one of your starry-eyed admirers when the time came?”
Had he ever loved her?
Thin white lines appeared around his mouth. “I will not deny that I wanted you to come with me, and I thought it would be easier if you cared for me, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you, Mary. I’ve never said those words to another woman in my life. Hell, I never even thought it possible for me to feel this way about a woman.”
Bile rose to the back of her throat. God, it was true. He had set out to make her fall in love with him. She’d thought it was a game, but it was an even bigger one than she imagined. The stakes weren’t just her heart, but her life and the lives of her children. Her heart curled like a piece of burning parchment.
How could he have made love to her all those times, knowing what he was going to do?
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she said hoarsely, her voice raw with emotion. “‘I betrayed you. I lied to you. I used you. But I love you, so it’s all right?’”
A muscle in his jaw pulsed. “I deserve your anger but not your scorn. What choice did I have?”
