Also never experienced before? Sex without a condom. Christ, he’d been a split second away from coming inside her! He raked his fingers back through his hair, forgetting that it was short again.
What the hell could he have been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking; that was the problem. He’d been acting on pure animal instinct.
He’d woken up with that taut, curvy ass pressed againsthim, and he’d been in a tunnel of need so dark and deep, nothing could have pulled him out.Take her. She wants it. You both want it. Don’t think. Just fuck. Fuck her until you can’t see straight.
Mission accomplished. Hooyah.
But what a fucking mess. He said the first thing that came to mind as he felt her turn toward him. “That was a mistake.”
•••
Annie usually liked Dan’s blunt tell-it-like-it-is, no-sugarcoating brusqueness. Now, however, was not one of those times.
She’d been feeling oddly vulnerable and had instinctively sought the warmth and connection of his body by curling against him.
But when he made his pronouncement, she stiffened and started to roll away. He swore and caught her by the arm.
“That isn’t what I meant.” He must have realized he sounded like an ass. Great. Give him the prize for awareness. Their eyes met for the first time that morning. Her chest squeezed. Whatever she’d hoped to see, it wasn’t regret. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. But I’ve never had sex without a condom—I’m clean.”
Annie knew that the mistake he’d been talking about wasn’t just about protection. She could see it in every white etched line of his grim expression.Thiswas a mistake, was what he meant. The most incredible sexual experience of her life—by far—had been a “mistake.”
Ouch. So much for postcoital cuddling and warm reassurances about how amazing that had been. How he’d never felt anything like it. How it had been as earth-shattering for him as it had been for her. How it might have meant something.
All those overwhelming, complicated,vulnerablefeelings she had twisting and squeezing inside her? Yeah, well, they were one-sided.
She told herself that she had no reason to be disappointed. No reason to be hurt. Hot monkey sex—or, in this case, doggy without the hands and knees—wasn’t romantic. It didn’tinspire tender moments of postorgasmic bliss. She had no reason to expect more than a wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.
Although technically she hadn’t even gotten that.
What was her problem? He’d made it clear that he hadn’t wanted this, that he didn’t want to get involved. That she chose to ignore it was her fault. If she was feeling hurt, she had no one to blame but herself.
She buried her disappointment and forced a cool, nonchalance to her expression. “We both made a mistake. It was a heat-of-the-moment adrenaline type of thing. I’ve never had unprotected sex, either, and I’m on the pill, but I am happy to get tested if you want.”
“That isn’t necessary.” His obvious relief that she wasn’t going to make a big deal out of this—even though it very much felt like a big deal to her—stung much more than it should.
She was being ridiculous. She needed to act like an adult. Adolescents thought sex meant feelings; she should know better. It didn’t mean anything. Hot sex was just hot sex.
Their chemistry was off the charts, so what? That didn’t mean it was time to start picking out china patterns. Chemistry didn’t equate to soul mate. Good in bed—okay,fantasticin bed—didn’t make ideal life partner.
She needed to stop imagining feelings and connections and look at the reality. She was attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? Look at him. He was seriously put together. Not just a great face but the body as well. She was painfully aware that he was lying in bed naked beside her with the duvet only partially covering him. But the glimpse she’d caught of his bare chest and arms before she turned away had been enough to turn her to jelly all over again. Big and cut up didn’t cover it by half.
It was probably better not to look. Just the feel of that rock-hard body behind her had made her act stupid enough.
But beyond attraction and apparent sexual compatibility, they didn’t have anything in common. Even if he wasn’t on the run from something and she hadn’t just gotten out of a bad relationship, it would never work. They were polar opposites. What had happened to her trifecta of not going to happen?
There was also the former military issue. The cool, confident, hard-as-nails “machine” she had been talking about pretty much summed him up. She had to admit in situations like this his alpha-man skills were welcome—and sexy—but in everyday life? No, thanks. She didn’t need another wannabe hero in her life. She had no interest in going there. Ever.
Then why was she so disappointed?
She thought she’d done a good job of hiding it, but she must not have been as good an actor as she thought.
“Look, Annie, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about this.”
Now,thatmade her perk up. As in hackles perked way up. “Wrong idea?”
He frowned at her tone, but in typical guy fashion plowed right on through the danger sign. “I like you, and this morning was... great.”Great?“But you and me...” He shrugged uncomfortably. “It can’t happen.”
She tucked the duvet around her chest as she sat up to stare at him. It was a testament to her flaring temper that she didn’t gape at her first full view of his chest. But good Lord. Her mouth went dry. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him.Eyes back up.“I think it did just happen.”
