But it was like looking into a wall of granite. Eventually she lowered her gaze. “All right.”
But it wasn’t all right at all.
He must have heard the disappointment in her voice and reacted. “What the fuck else do you want from me, Annie? I told you how it had to be.”
She suspected it was defensiveness rather than anger, but that didn’t make his crude retort sting any less. He had told her, but that was before this... beforethem.Didn’t he feel what was happening here?
“I know what you said, but are you so sure that is how it has to be? I know you are hiding from something, and I know it’s serious, but there must be a way to help. My stepfather is an important man with all kinds of connections—maybe he can do something. If you just tell me what kind of trouble you are in—”
He didn’t let her finish. He took her by the arm and forced her to meet his angry gaze. “There is nothing you can do, and there is nothing your stepfather can do—no matter who he is or who he knows.”
“You don’t know that. I know you aren’t a criminal. The best I can figure is that you are either CIA or—” She stopped and looked at him. “You aren’t former military, are you?” Her heart fell. Oh God. He was still in the military. “That’s it,isn’t it? You are on some kind of covert op and I got in the middle of it, didn’t I?”
His expression was almost too still. He released her arm. “You read too many spy novels. You are way off base.”
“No, I suspect you are the one off base—thebase.”
She knew enough about Special Operations to know that men didn’t typically work on their own. Was he some kind of black ops?
It didn’t feel right with what she knew of him. But despite his stoic facade and refusal to address her suspicions, she suspected she was on the right track.
“Think what you want,” he said with too much indifference. “It doesn’t change the fact that I have to go, and you have to forget about me.”
If what she suspected was true, and he was still a SEAL, he was right. She should be the one running for the door.
But she couldn’t do that. Instead she took a few steps toward him. He might be everything she thought she didn’t want, but apparently her heart hadn’t gotten the message. Somewhere along the line Mr. Not Going to Happen had become Mr. Feels Really Right. She couldn’t lose him—not without a fight.
He was still standing only partially in the room, almost as if he didn’t want to come too close. She could see his muscles draw tight and rigid as she neared. His hands were balled into fists at his side; his nostrils flared as he probably caught a whiff of the lotion she’d doused herself with. His eyes burned hot as he watched her. With anger, but with something else also.
Lust. Desire. Electricity. Whatever that powerful connection was burning between them, it was flaring in full force.
He was trying to fight it, trying to ignore what was between them, but she wasn’t going to let him off that easily. If he was going to walk away, she was going to make damned sure he understood exactly what he was walking away from.
“What if I can’t do that?” she asked softly. She took a deep, nervous breath, her heart beating tightly in her chest. “What if I think I’m falling in love with you?”
There. She’d said it. She’d put words to the feelings that neither of them wanted to acknowledge.
The silence was deafening, his utter lack of reaction stinging.
Her cheeks were on fire, but she wouldn’t let herself feel humiliated. She wasn’t going to let him walk away and wonder “what if?” She was going to put it out there. Put herself out there.
“What happened to casual?” he snapped angrily.
Her heart flinched. But anger was good, right? If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be mad. He’d be uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Feel sorry for her. But not angry.
She was standing under him now. Close enough to put her hand on the flat of his chest and look up at the day-old gold-flecked dark stubble on his chin. Would she ever get used to the power and size of him? “It has never been casual for me. From the first time you touched me, I knew you were different. And I don’t think it’s ever been casual for you, either. Can you honestly say that you don’t feel anything for me?” His lack of response coupled with the frantic beat of his heart under her hand emboldened her. “I think you care about me, too. I think you want this just as much as I do.”
He gritted his teeth, wrapped his hand around her wrist, and pulled it from his chest to her side. It was harsh but not hurtful. He knew his strength. He was in control even when furious. Even when she was forcing him to acknowledge something he didn’t want to acknowledge. Something he might not be able to walk away from so easily.
“I think you’ve confused good sex with something else. We barely know each other. You’re a nice girl, Annie, but...”
Ouch. She stepped back. If he was trying to push her away, he was doing a fantastic job. She felt skewered. Her already shaky confidence faltered.
But he was lying—purposefully downplaying his feelings—to make a clean break of it... wasn’t he? Or had she been wrong? Had she imbued him with feelings that were only one-sided?
She lifted her chin to meet his gaze. She would know from looking into his eyes, right? “So that’s it? After everythingwe’ve been through, you are just going to walk away? Leave and never look back? It was nice knowing you—is that it?”
She’d never seen his face look so dark. He was almost shaking as he yelled at her. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do, damn it.”
