“Did you not think you owed me an answer first? Did I not deserve an explanation before you agreed to marry someone else?” The dark expression cracked, revealing a flash of his tormented emotions. “Damn it, El, I saw him kiss you.”
The blood slipped from her face, her chest pinched in horror... and guilt. “Oh God, Thom, I’m sorry. It...”
What could she say? It didn’t mean anything? But it did. It meant everything. She was marrying someone else, and they both would have to accept that.
She drew herself up and took a deep breath. “I did try to tell you the other day, but you didn’t want to hear it.” He’d kissed her before she could finish her refusal.
It was obvious he still didn’t want to hear it. “What if I’d come back tomorrow? It could have been too late.”
It was already too late.
He must have seen the resolve on her face. “You can’t marry him. You don’t love him. You love me.”
She didn’t say anything.
He looked shocked. “You aren’t going to deny it?”
She shrugged. “My feelings don’t make any difference.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Are you telling me you love me, and it doesn’t matter?”
A gust of wind made her shiver. She drew the plaid tighter around her shoulders as she stared up at him, not knowing what to say.
He swore and led her into the closest outbuilding—which happened to be the stables. The pungent scents and sultry air enveloped her. Perhaps the smell would be distracting? Though Lord knew it hadn’t been distracting enough last time.Last time...
Don’t think of that.
Sliding the door behind them, he said, “It will be warmer in here. The smell could be better, but at least you will be out of the wind.”
“I should go.”
“Not until we are finished.”
“We are finished. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“How can you say that?” He reached down and cupped her face in a big, callused hand that seemed to swallow her up. “Christ, sweetheart, you just told me you loved me.”
The tenderness and happiness in his gaze made her chest tug hard against her ribs and nearly stole her breath.
She looked away. “It isn’t enough.”
Even if she yearned for it with every fiber of her being.
The thumb that had been gently stroking her cheek stopped. “You are wrong, it is everything. No wealth or position in the world will ever make up for what is in here.” He moved her hand to his heart and covered it with his own. “I know this is difficult for you. I know what I am asking you to give up.”
Elizabeth felt a flicker of anger spark inside her. “Do you? I don’t think you have any idea.” He was living in some kind of romantic fantasy where love was the only thing that mattered. But love wouldn’t put food in her belly or a roof over her head. Love wouldn’t provide for her children’s future. Love wouldn’t bridge the gap that separated them in society’s eyes and make him an acceptable husband. “My duty to my family—myonlyduty—is to make a good marriage. So in addition to ignoring that, you are asking me to give up wealth, position, and security, for what kind of life? Have you given any thought to how we will live?Wherewe will live? Because I can assure you that without my tocher those bags of coins I saved won’t last long.”
His mouth fell into a thin white line. “We don’t need your brother’s damned money—although I’m not surprised the bastard would punish you for marrying me.” It wasn’t punishment; it was not approving. “I told you I would be able to provide for you. I have some coin saved.”
“Coin that you will need if you are to become a knight,” she pointed out.
She could see his jaw clamping down harder. The muscle below his cheek started to tic. Obviously he didn’t appreciate the dose of reality any more than she had from Jamie. “And enough for a place to live. We may need to live simply for a while, but it will not always be so. I can’t see the future and give you all the answers you want, but I can tell you I will do everything in my power to see that you have the life you want. Hell, if that means living in Paris, I’ll do my best to get you there.”
She couldn’t prevent one corner of her mouth from lifting. “You would hate it there. Everyone speaks French.”
His mouth quirked at the shared jest. But he sobered quickly. “Don’t you see? None of that matters. If you were by my side, I wouldn’t care if they were speaking Greek. I would find a way to make it work.” He paused. “Do you remember when I asked you to jump to that tree?”
She nodded. How could she ever forget? It was one of the most terrifying things she’d ever done in her life.
