Could he? Would it really be so horrible? Was she letting a difficult period in her childhood and whatmighthappen influence her decisions too much?
Oh God, what was she going to do? She felt precariously close to tears as she thanked Simon for accompanying her and turned to leave him at the gatehouse.
She needed to find Joanna. At this time of day—close to dusk—her sister-in-law was probably still with some of the other court ladies embroidering in Lady Margaret and Matilda Bruce’s solar. The king’s young sisters had been given the largest chamber, and that is where they gathered when their duties allowed. The women staying at the abbey were working on a new banner for Bruce that would be carried into battle when the English came in June.
But before she could find her sister-in-law, her brother found her. He was storming out of the guesthouse where they were staying as she was about to go in.
“I was just going to look for you,” he said. “Where the hell have you been?”
“Running an errand for Jo.”
His face darkened. “That’s what she said. Where?”
“I can’t tell you,” she hedged. Drat, she knew he’d suspected something! “It’s a secret.”
“That’s what she said as well.” His eyes narrowed on hers. “But I’d bet my favorite sword that you are both lying.”
“It isn’t a lie,” she said, her mouth setting in a stubborn line.Technically.
“You went to go see MacGowan, didn’t you?” She didn’t say anything but just stared at him mulishly. “Should I go ask Simon?” he threatened.
Elizabeth knew she was caught; she wasn’t going to have Jamie intimidating poor Simon because of her. “Leave him out of this. He was only doing his duty.”
“I knew it! Damn it, Ella. What are you doing? And why the hell are you involving Jo and having her lie for you?”
“We weren’t lying, and I didn’t involve her in anything.”
He gave her a hard look. “Aye, if I know my wife, it was probably all her idea. She’s made no secret of her desire to see you and Thom together. No matter how many times I tell her it’s impossible.”
“Is it really so impossible?” Elizabeth asked quietly.
Her question seemed to take him aback. By the time he answered, much of his anger had faded. “Do you really need to ask me that? Randolph spoke to me earlier. He has offered for you, and I have given my permission. He will formally ask you tomorrow.” He paused. “This is what you wanted, El. I thought you’d be happy.”
“It is what I wanted,” she said. “At least what I thought I wanted.”
“And now you don’t?”
She gazed at him pleadingly, the big brother to whom she’d always looked up. “I don’t know.”
He folded her in his arms and held her, giving her comfort as he had so many times in their tumultuous war-torn youth—especially after the death of their father.
After a moment, he pulled back. “I don’t need to tell you how good this match with Randolph is—hell, it’s obvious. You’ll be wife to one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in Scotland. But that isn’t the only reason why I want you to marry him. Randolph is a good man, Ella. One of the best I’ve ever met—don’t tell him I said that,” he added as an aside dryly. “I wouldn’t see you with someone who I didn’t think could make you happy.” His ironic choice of words was not lost on her. “Don’t you like him?”
She shook her head. “It’s not like that. I like him very much.”What’s not to like. “It’s just that...”
His mouth tightened. “MacGowan.”
She nodded.
Something in his expression changed. For a moment she glimpsed the Black Douglas, the man who had struck terror in the heart of the enemy who whispered his name in the same breath as the Devil. “Has he touched you, El? If that bastard has compromised you in any way—”
Knowing there were some things her brother would never understand, she cut him off quickly, “He has not compromised me.” That was true. “Or touched me in any way that was improper.” That was maybe a little less true. His eyes narrowed, noting her careful language, and she added, “You know him, Jamie. Thom would never treat me dishonorably.”
He studied her face before relenting. Sitting back on the bench, he smiled. “Aye, MacGowan has always had a fierce streak of honor and nobility in him. At times when we were young, it was bloody inconvenient. You should have seen him when he found out about Jo.” He rubbed his jaw. “Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever been hit that hard.”
“Thommy struck you?” she said in an awed tone. Of course they’d been in brawls in their boyhood, but for Thom to hit his lord as a man... James could have had him punished severely if he’d wanted to. “Why?”
Suddenly, he looked uncomfortable—as if he regretted speaking so freely. “He thought I’d wronged Jo. He was right.”
