“There was nothing you could have done. There was nothing anyone could have done. Dougal MacDonald is a bloodthirsty cur, he was looking for any excuse to kill them. Getting yourself killed on Lewis won’t bring them back.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Alex said tightly.
“I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. I almost lost Isabel for the sake of revenge.”
The raw emotion in Rory’s voice took the edge off Alex’s anger. He remembered that long week a few years ago when Rory thought Isabel had betrayed him. He’d never seen his seemingly invincible brother suffer like that before and probably never would again. Rory and Isabel were more in love than he ever thought two people could be.
He understood what had brought this unexpected halfhearted offer from his brother. Rory didn’t want to be the one to force his brother to choose between love and duty.
“It’s not the same,” Alex said.
Rory lifted an eyebrow sardonically. “It’s not?”
Alex shook his head. “No, I’m not the right man for her.” His brother was aware of the Mackinnon’s recent troubles, but Alex filled him in on the rest. “I won’t put her in any more danger, and I can’t be the man she needs to help her clan right now. I know how important it is to her to do the right thing by her clan. I won’t ask her to sacrifice that for me. She’s driven herself so hard over the past few years, I won’t be the cause of her failure.”
Rory gave him a wry smile. “Driven? Sounds like someone I know.”
His brother’s observation took him aback. “Perhaps,” Alex admitted ruefully. They were alike in that.
“You’re not being fair to yourself or the lass. Shouldn’t she make that decision for herself?”
“That’s not an option. Meg knows nothing about our plans.” Alex deflected his brother’s impending interruption. “And before you say anything, I have my reasons for not telling her. She’s close to the Campbells, and if Argyll gets wind of this…”
All vestiges of humor vanished from Rory’s face. “It could be disastrous. Argyll works for no one but himself. He’s highly unpredictable, and if he decides it’s in his best interests to inform King James of our plans, warding off the Fife Adventurers will be a much more difficult proposition—if not a losing one. Right now all we have is the element of surprise on our side.”
“And we can’t lose it,” Alex finished for him. “I don’t believe that Meg would betray us intentionally, but I will not take the chance that she lets something slip accidentally. And it’s not just Argyll that holds me back from confiding in her. Knowledge of our plans and an attachment to me could put Meg in danger. I won’t risk her safety.” Alex held his brother’s gaze. “I appreciate what you are trying to do, but it’s not necessary. I know well what I risk, but it can’t be helped.”
Rory looked visibly relieved. “I’m sorry there isn’t another way to resolve things with the lass, but I trust your judgment. Our kin need our help, and there is no one I’d rather send in my stead. You’ll leave tomorrow night. There will be a boat ready to depart that can take you to Lewis. I’ll take care of the MacDonalds, but the rest will be up to you.”
“I won’t let you down.”
Rory turned to him and gave him a long look. “I never thought that you would, little brother.”
Chapter 15
Meg prayed this was not an enormous mistake.
She hesitated for a moment, contemplating the momentous decision she was about to make. If she went much further, there would be no turning back. What did she have to lose? Nothing, she thought wryly. Other than total disgrace and every ounce of her pride.
She was a fool to risk so much.
Still, she could not turn back while there was even a remote chance for happiness. When her happiness had even become important, she did not know. What mattered was that it had. Come what may, she’d decided to follow her heart and not her head.
So she continued on, winding through the unfamiliar territory, hoping that the maidservant’s directions were accurate.
She pulled the hood of her cloak farther down over her head—she hadn’t completely lost her senses—as she approached the gentlemen’s living quarters, doing her best to avoid the curious stares of the servants she passed. Her features were well hidden, and she hoped it was enough. She’d made her decision; she’d have to live with the consequences.
At least there was a certain amount of logic to her plan. That fact should comfort her, as it always had before. But it didn’t. Because if Alex did not listen to reason, she would be forced to play her final card. And there was not much logic to that particular part of the plan. Andthatfact made her nervous. Very nervous indeed.
If only she knew what to expect. But the riddle of Alex MacLeod was not an easy one to solve. Isabel’s insight into Alex yesterday was at the core of what was pushing him away, but it wasn’t the entirety. But Meg had made her decision. Whatever had happened to him in the past, it didn’t matter. Meg believed in the man he was today. Enough to trust the future of her clan to him. For she’d decided to prove to Alex just how much she believed in him by offering him an alternative to whatever he was doing at court. One where his leadership and battle skills could shine.
Alex was the perfect man for her clan and the perfect man for her. She’d take the direct approach and tell him, and if that didn’t work, she’d show him. First she’d appeal to his logic, then to their attraction. She bit her lip nervously. She hoped it wouldn’t come to the latter. But if necessary, she would give him the ultimate proof of her love and trust.
It had to work. Rejection would be humiliating. Was this how men felt? she wondered, feeling an unexpected twinge of sympathy for Thomas Mackinnon. It was nerve-racking to put yourself in such a position of vulnerability.
She halted before a small closed door. His door. This was it. She took a deep breath, but the tumultuous pounding of her heart betrayed her unease. In twenty years, they’d probably sit around the hearth fire and laugh about it. She hoped.
Before Meg could change her mind, she rapped firmly on the door.
