“It’s not a point of wanting to or not.” I raked my hand over my hair. “I am unable to let her go. Even when she’s icy with me but friendly enough with everyone else…” I shook my head. “I can’t let her go.”
“Then don’t. Sooner or later, she’ll, um, well, fuck. I don’t know. Couldn’t you just fuck her out of how hung up she is about it all?”
I rolled my head on the back of the chair and gave him a dry look.
“I’m joking. Jeez. It’s just a joke.” He smiled and laughed, but then he sobered up and sighed. “But that tells me right there that she really is the one, then. You care about her for more than just sex.”
Was that not obvious?
Natalie had taken a hold of my heart and I wasn’t in the mood to let her break it to pieces. If Claire was right and she needed space and time, I could do that.
While I gave her the distance she insisted on, though, I didn’t have to be idle. I had a couple of ideas to thaw her out again—even if it was just to warm her up to talking with me.
“Hey, you said you talked to that babysitter that night.”
He nodded, glancing at me. “Daria? Yeah, I did.”
“And you said she commented on struggling?” It should’ve been impossible for him to get that young woman to share so much, but this was Roman. He had the charm to get anyone to open up to him. Not many people were so freely trusting or gullible to tell a stranger that they were hurting for money after losing a side hustle. It sounded like Daria missed Natalie and Maisie not only because she liked them, but also because she needed the babysitting money. Tuition was an iffy topic for her.
“Go ahead and find her. Take care of her debts and tuition.”
He raised his brows. “Really? What, you’re going to try to use a good deed as a way to get Natalie to not look at you like you’re a monster?”
I shook my head. “I won’t manipulate her.”
But I wasn’t above doing anything I could to prove to Natalie that I wasn’t a cruel, heartless asshole.
I would do anything to get back in her good graces. Because the longer that this gap stretched between us, the harder I yearned for her and missed her warmth.
26
NATALIE
Two weeks after I returned to the penthouse, I sat with Claire in her building. We were in the massive ballroom, watching Anya teach Maisie more of how to play the piano. Once again, I was entertained by how silly my daughter was while she could still be a diligent student and pay attention. She had bonded so well with the teenager, and I saw how much Anya enjoyed having her around too.
Yet, while I sat here, I couldn’t forget the last time I was here and how that night had ended. Every time I came into this massive room for Maisie’s piano practice, I remembered how I’d gone outside on the balcony and happened to overhear the truth about how my husband had been killed, and by whose pull of the trigger.
Claire noticed my mood. And she didn’t laugh at my reminder or think it was stupid after I told her about what I was thinking about.
“Anya has that same problem. About this room, actually. I suspect it’s why she always asked me if I’d listen to her play, soshe wouldn’t be alone in here. I think it’s why she loves teaching Maisie here, too.”
I looked at her, curious.
“She was almost shot and kidnapped out of this room.” She pointed at the massive grand piano. “Mikhail had to order a replica of the one that was shot up while he protected her.”
I couldn’t help but glance around the room nervously. It was such a huge, cavernous place.There are a lot of windows…
“He also added plenty of extra security measures,” she said, patting my knee. "But it’s natural to have a traumatic incident color a scene.” She shrugged. “If I were to return to the ER, I’d experience that too.”
“It sounds like leaving your job was a blessing, then.”
“It was. And it’s also natural to let go, too. To heal and grow with our past behind us, not bogging us down.”
I frowned, watching Maisie and marveling that we were here. “I want to,” I admitted.
She smiled gently. “Then perhaps, next week, my wedding here can be another, newer, and brighter memory to patch over the old. I look forward to it. We all do.”
I couldn’t help but smile with her. Meeting Claire made this new phase of my life so much easier. It wasn’t a one-sided fondness, either. She confided in me before that she wished she had been here when I heard that detail about my late husband’s death. She hated that she hadn’t been here for me because I was here for her. As an outsider integrated into the family, she lacked having anyone else to fully understand the struggles she faced fitting in.
