Looking my cousin dead in the eye, I swallowed hard and admitted the truth.
“I’m serious about keeping her.”
I just need to tellherthat first.
16
NATALIE
“It looks like she’s out,” Daria said quietly.
I smiled at Maisie sleeping like an angel. Daria watched her as well via our FaceTime call. Because Maisie missed her sitter, and because Daria wanted to stay in touch with her too, we arranged to have Daria read her a bedtime story, even if it was remote and over a video call.
“She sure is,” I replied, tugging the covers up a little more before quietly leaving the room. A couple of weeks ago, Maisie asked if the “other” bedroom could just be her room. All her toys were in here, and it was more like a second guest room that we treated as her playroom. But she said she wanted to be a big girl and not sleep with me anymore. It hurt a little, but I was fine with letting her decide. I’d only had her in the same room and bed with me when Sergei brought us here because I worried that she would be scared or traumatized in a new place.
This penthouse wasn’tnewto us anymore. It felt so much like home that I had to pinch myself and know I wasn’t dreaming.
“She looks so big in that bed now,” Daria said. I kept the call on as I exited the room, glad I hadn’t lost contact with my former sitter and friend.
“She does.” The full-size bed was a big move up from her twin that she had at the apartment. I wasn’t sure she’d want to downsize again. If she would have to.
“Hey, I can’t talk for long,” she said.
“Thank you so much for reading to her.”
“No worries. I miss her. And you. I’m glad to stay connected.” Her smile was a genuine one.
Deep down, I did worry, though. Daria had counted on the babysitting money to make ends meet and I wasn’t paying her for that service anymore.
“I’ve got to study, but I wanted to mention that the landlord’s been talking about subletting your apartment.” She cringed to show what she thought of that.
“Oh.” I furrowed my brow, not sure how to interpret that. It was getting harder to remember that the small, cramped apartment wasmine. That it was the home I provided for myself and Maisie. Sergei’s apartment felt like home, decorated with Maisie’s artwork hanging up all over and the small piles of toys scattered around. I’d even picked up on my former hobby of knitting, and my yarn was in a bag in the lounge where my scarf-in-progress waited for me.
“I don’t think he can legally do that,” she added.
I shrugged, heading into the kitchen to whip up dinner for myself. Maisie had wanted her staple of chicken nuggets and noodles for dinner, and she ate earlier. I had yet to preparesomething for myself. And Sergei, if he wasn’t too busy working all night. “Well, if he tries to, I’m sure I’ll know.” Sergei explained that he would cover my rent while I wasn’t working. He also said he had an employee under his supervision to patrol and check on my apartment and the building.
After thanking Daria for that update, I hung up and focused on making dinner.
Reading in between the lines of what Claire and Anya told me, and what the other men like Andre, Roman, and Mikhail, said, I knew that Sergei’s “job” was one within the Mafia. The night I realized that the Orlovs were a Mafia family, I stayed awake and sat in my bed staring at the wall. The shock factor wore off, though, because no matter how instinctive it was to assume that anyone in the Mob had to be inherently bad, I was alive because of how good it could be too.
Sergeiwasmy hero.
Hehadsaved me and my daughter.
Every day and night, he provided for us and made sure I was safe.
I sighed as I stirred the pot of noodles I was making fresh for a chicken dish I loved. Relying on Sergei didn’t feel like a threat anymore. Even though I felt “kept” here, I couldn’t imagine giving up this opportunity.
Free from worrying about schedules and getting in enough hours for a good paycheck, I could relax and just be here. I didn’t have to scrape by and live frugally. I didn’t have to guilt-trip myself for not being present in Maisie’s life.
I was here with her, watching her grow and learn. She was so joyful, so content. I didn’t feel like a failure to not have provided her with an easy life on my own. I could only bask in the happiness of seeing her so happy. My daughter’s security meant everything to me, and I hoped that Sergei understood how grateful I was to be a present mother.
But does he know?
Sergei was hard to read, and with him busy with “work” so often, it was hard to find a chance to have an adult conversation with him without Maisie overhearing.
For this last month, I’d been so focused on breathing, on being, and on indulging in this vacation-like opportunity to concentrate on Maisie and being there for her.
