She smiled sweetly. “Seriously, Natalie. If you ever want to talk or anything like that, I’m here for you.” She squeezed my hand. “You’re not alone.”
I waved to her and wished her a good night before shutting the door.
Iwasn’talone. I never would be with Maisie. And Daria was here, as a solid babysitter and friend.
But more than anything, I knew that I wasn’t alone because of Sergei showing up in my life. He was remote and aloof, anambiguous stranger I had yet to learn about. At the same time, he was here, present and willing when I needed him the most.
I went to bed with him on my mind. No answers came to me as I got into bed. No clarity cleared my mind as I lay on the mattress and stared at the ceiling.
All I could do was repeat the question of whether I could accept this “challenge” of letting this sexy, tempting, and dangerous protector in my life any more than he already was.
Because no matter what I told myself and which way I analyzed it, I wanted him.
What are you doing to me, Sergei?
Why me? Why you?
Why do you tempt me to love again?
9
SERGEI
Ever since I found out where Natalie lived, I doubled down on seeing her. Keeping up my routine of stopping in at the Diamond Mirage didn’t change. Now, I added in the pattern of stalking her. I followed her home—from a distance—almost every night I saw her.
If anyone were to ask me what the hell I was doing, admitting I was obsessed with her would be the quickest and most honest answer.
Kissing her on the sidewalk was a turning point. The taste of her lips was embedded on my tongue. The sound of her quiet whimpers of need were ingrained in my brain.
It just wasn’t enough.
I couldn’t will myself to give her up or stop coming to see that she was there.
With how much distance I kept between us, never trying to push her into talking more or giving me anything else, it seemed like a contradiction that wouldn’t make sense or be resolved. I wantedher but didn’t actively pursue her. I missed her, but I couldn’t figure out how to take the first step of claiming her when it was so obvious that she’d struggle.
She was scared of something. She was nervous and socially shy. A woman as sweet and meek as her, yet scrappy and determined to work hard, couldn’t be into anything nefarious or bad. Natalie was a good person. I sensed that immediately. And because of that, she wouldn’t adjust to the ugliness and violence of who I was.
On nights when I was pulled into working, too busy acting as my uncle’s enforcer, I regretted that I couldn’t check in on her.
It took one slip to give away too much, though.
After driving out to a warehouse with Mikhail, a rarity now since he’d stepped back from being on the frontlines and personally involved in combat, I detoured around toward the Diamond Mirage and Natalie’s neighborhood. It wasn’t as though I could see through the walls and spot her, but merely being in her area helped to assuage missing her.
“Where are we going?” Mikhail asked.
“Just driving past a place I’ve been keeping on my radar,” I explained. “You don’t mind, do you?”
He shrugged then shook his head. Looking comfortable in the passenger seat, he watched the scenery blur past us out the window. “No. I don’t mind. Is this something you’re keeping on your radar for the family?” He glanced at me. “For business?”
I shook my head and regretted it. What the fuck else would I be keeping on my radar if not for the family’s business? Clearing my throat, I quickly nodded. “Kind of.”
“You know, I thought Claire was being silly the other night. All those pregnancy hormones and all.” He chuckled lightly. “After we had dinner, she asked me if you were seeing someone. She got it into her head that you’ve been acting ‘different’ lately.”
Dammit.
I didn’t want to know how she could guess that. I wasn’t acting any differently. “How am I supposedly acting?”
“She said you seemed distracted.”
