“I saw one of the Giovannis’ low-ranking dealers there,” I admitted. That much was true. I couldn’t recall which visit it was that I spotted someone affiliated with our enemy, but I had noticed him. He wasn’t anyone important enough to take out, but I was curious about his showing up there in unsanctioned no-man’s-land. The Diamond Mirage wasn’t part of Orlov territory any more than it was Roberto Giovanni’s turf. But any movement that they were making could be important.
I added the mention of those drugs I’d found on the bodies in the alley. Again, it was a partial truth. I didn’t tell him that I’d killed those men because they bothered Natalie. But telling him about those specific marked drugs was intel, I supposed.
“Do you want backup?” He sat up, as if wondering if he could leave the tail end of this family dinner to celebrate Anya’s birthday. “I can come with you.”
I set my hand on his shoulder as I stood. “No. There’s no need.”
“I don’t mind.”
But I fucking do.Buttoning my suit jacket, I gave him a slight smile. “Why waste your time on something that won’t end with any action?”
Fuck. I should ask myself the same thing.
Nothing was ever going to happen between me and Natalie if one of us didn’t make a move.
I left and hurried to get to the bar, finding her as busy as ever. No matter how hectic it got in here, I almost always managed a seat directly in front of her.
“Hey,” she greeted shyly, taunting me with that innocent smile.
I resisted a growl of desire. Her coy looks. Her oblivious nature to how much I was holding myself back. I doubted it was a game of her playing hard to get or leading me on. Her sweet air of naïve ignorance eliminated that. She was just that… good. Pure. Denying myself the chance to go after her was wearing on me.
“Hi, Natalie.”
For the next several minutes as I slowly nursed my beer—which was more of a prop than a beverage I wanted to finish—I watched her bustle around behind the bar. She was busy, no surprise there, but not as skittish and nervous.
“Hiya,” Rosa greeted cheerily, like usual.
I nodded at her. “Busy night?” I guessed.
“Meh. I’m betting it’ll pick up soon.” She moved off toward her side, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized that I knew what she was doing. Checking on me. Letting me know she had her eyes on me. I didn’t mind. In fact, I liked knowing that Natalie had someone looking out for her. Other than me, of course.
It wasn’t feasible for me to be here all night, though, not even every night. Although I wished I could. I wanted to have Natalieas a more lasting and permanent fixture in my life for as much as I thought about her and worried.
When Andre offered to come with me, I wanted to avoid any chance of his finding out about her. She was my “secret” for now. But if and when she could ever be a real part of my life, I’d need to bridge that gap.
I recalled too clearly how hard it had been for Anya to acclimate to the bloodthirsty and violent elements of the Orlov organization. Claire, too, had struggled to shift from normal society to living under our rules and way of power.
Natalie would undergo a culture shock as well, and that was all the more reason to approach my fascination with her slowly and carefully.
For now.
I set my beer down and watched a few men as they started to stare at both of the bartenders. They looked like trouble, and I was alert.
For now, keeping Natalie my secret was working. Eventually, when I could find the right time and place—with hopefully the right words—I could try to introduce her to who I really was and what I did. Because if I was this stuck on coming to see her, she was just as guilty at looking forward to my appearances. I wouldn’t call it a friendship, but something more tangible and demanding in its own right.
She was still so nervous, always tense with wary glances at me and everyone else. Her fragility was hidden and layered behind her strength, though, because no matter how horrible customers were and how overworked she and Rosa were, she didn’t quit.
“That’s enough,” Rosa told the trio of drunk men. They looked like body builders but without the knowledge of how to actually use the bulk their steroids netted them. She set her hand on the bar and gave them a stern glare, continuing to rant at them to behave. Slipping back and forth between English and Spanish, she bitched at them to watch it or they’d be kicked out.
She caught my attention, and I dipped my chin once.
“Oh, you gonna be the unofficial bouncer around her now or something?” she teased while Natalie was bringing more things out from the walk-in cooler.
I shook my head. “No.” I wouldn’t let anyone think I was here to officially protect this place. That wouldn’t be a simple good deed. It would be political. Placing a stamp of Orlov security on Peter’s shitty bar would be perceived as Mikhail claiming this territory, and that wasn’t a move I intended to make. One I didn’t have the power to make as his enforcer.
Natalie, though, was mine to protect. Whether she wanted it or not. Looking out for her had become less of a game and more of an honorary responsibility. Like instinct.
“You really care about her, huh?” Rosa guessed, glancing over her shoulder to track where Natalie was and that she was still out of earshot.
