“Please lock the front door when you leave, King,” she said loudly.
I stood there staring at the door. My head dropped along with my fucking balls. I had never felt this played in my life.
It was never this hard to get my rocks off. Now here I was standing outside her door with a hard dick and no way in. I wasn’t about to knock again and act a fool.
I stepped back slowly, swallowing my pride. Then I walked out her house with what little dignity I had left. I could easily call up another woman and get my shit off but deep down I knew it wouldn’t bring me the same satisfaction.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Shadonna
“I’m bringing you the hottest bitch from the South! Cheeks, get your sexy ass out here and show these Cali niggas what the fuck it’s hitting for!”
DJ Slaps’ voice blasted through the speakers, vibrating through the whole club and straight into my chest.
Soon as he said my name, the crowd started hollering.
I stepped through the curtain and onto that stage like I owned the damn place. The lights hit my skin and made it glow while the bass from the music thumped beneath my heels. Just like that… I was in my element.
Ain’t a bitch in this strip club could see me even on my worse day.
My body was banging, I was thick in all the right places, my skin looked like it had been dipped in oil. One of the girls who hustled by doing makeup out the locker room had beat my face earlier for forty-five dollars, and baby… she slayed me to the gods. My lashes looked cute, my lips were glossy, and I smelled as good as I looked.
When I came to work, I wasthat bitch.
Being in the club did something to my mind too. The music, the lights, the attention, it drowned out everything else for awhile. All the stress, the pain, the guilt… it all got pushed to the back of my head.
For those few minutes on stage, I could forget who I really was. My personal life was fucked up and no matter how hard I tried to fix things with Layloni, I failed.
I was still trying to rebuild myself after everything that happened between us. Trying to get my strength up and become half the woman she was. Truth be told, I didn’t deserve her friendship. Not after all the backstabbing shit I did to her. She had every right to check me the way she did, I’d take her cursing me out every day over not having her in my life at all.
Layloni had always been a good person, the type of woman who stayed solid no matter what life threw at her. The fact that she called me later and apologized first, humbled me more than she probably realized.
She didn’t even have to do that. Soon as she called, I came running right back to the shop.
I truthfully, I loved being there, not just because of Layloni, but because working there made me feel like I was finally doing something right for once. I was making money honestly, without having to pop my pussy for it. Somewhere deep down inside, I had already accepted that I probably would never be shit in life.
I prayed like hell my kids wouldn’t turn out like me because I knew something was wrong with me mentally. I’d been knowing it for years. No matter how much I told Layloni counseling was helping, it really wasn’t. That white lady could sit across from me all day with her little notebook, asking questions about my childhood… but talking about it didn’t erase none of it. It didn’t erase my innocence being taken at a young age nor my momma pimping me out.
My momma didn’t give a shit about me, all she cared about was the money they handed her so she could go get high with Layloni’s mama. That memory alone still made my chest feeltight whenever it popped up in my mind. I swore on everything I would never speak to my mother again. I secretly wished Prince killed my momma instead of Layloni’s. That shit would have brought me some real closure.
If I had to strip and work Layloni’s shop just to build a better life for me and my kids, then so be it. I’d do whatever it took. My babies weren’t going to grow up the way I did. Even if they ended up hating me one day for the choices, I made to provide for them. I had plans for them secretly but didn’t promise them the things I dreamed about. I was scared to let them down even more by telling them about the future I was striving hard to get for them.
I wanted to get them in a big house, put my babies in private school. Save money to see them through college. Things I never had, I wanted for them. If I was being honest with myself, part of the reason I used to be jealous of Layloni growing up was because she had that good-girl image. People respected her. Trusted her. Hell… in my eyes she really was a good girl.
She wasn’t damaged goods like me. I still didn’t even love myself most days. That little eight-year-old version of me was still trapped somewhere in my head, screaming. I still needed pills sometimes just to fall asleep so the nightmares wouldn’t come. If it wasn’t for my kids…
I probably would’ve been killed myself already. They were the only reason I kept pushing forward. The only reason I kept grinding. I zoned out on the stage, and thought about the sacrifices I’ve made. All I wanted to keep doing right now was stacking my money, letting these thirsty ass niggas throw cash at me for a fantasy.
Because that’s all it ever was to them anyway, a fantasy and a good nut. I refused to feel anything for them. The beat dropped harder through the speakers, snapping me back to the moment.
I strutted across the stage slow and confident, making sure every eye in the room followed me. Soon as I dropped low and ran my hands over my thighs, teasing the curve of my pussy through my thong, money rained down on me.
That’s all it took.
I rolled my hips to the beat and made my ass clap, bending over just enough to drive them crazy. Niggas in the front row were gripping their dicks and licking their lips like they were starving. I already knew them hoes backstage were watching through the curtain, hating hard on a bitch.
By the time my song ended, the stage was covered in money. Just from that one performance, I could already tell I had at least three thousand sitting on the dirty floor waiting for me to collect. The night was still young and my goal for tonight was to at least make five thousand dollars. Hopefully more.
