She rolled her eyes, as Glen ignored my rant. Sparking up a blunt, he made small convo with his homeboys. He didn’t offer a ‘baby, who gave you a ride?’ Nor did he inquire about my safety.
“Shit Lay Lay… Glen got some new shit! Some shit that made me dance… I gave him your money, maybe he will give it back.”
She shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. Snapping her fingers, she started singing to herself, making up her own tune to dance to.
“Y’all get the fuck out my house!” I yelled. I didn’t want no one here at this point. It was enough dealing with my mom. If Glen wanted to sit his fat ass there ignoring me and not caring for my wellbeing, I didn’t want him around me tonight.
“You always capping shorty.” He smiled, as I rolled my eyes. He was fronting for his homeboys once again. Standing to his feet, he walked up to me smiling, showing his diamond grill. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out fifty dollars and stuffed it in my breasts like I was some sort of cheap hoe.
“Here’s your money back, I let your momma try my new shit… Heroin got her in a better mood than crack.”
Shocked at his words, I slapped him as hard as I could. Realizing Glen wasn’t shit on multiple occasions broke my heart. How could he give my mom a stronger drug than what she was already dealing with? He knew how stressed her drug use had me and for him to sell to her only made it worse.
“I’m done with you, Glen… this the last-”
Before I could get the words out, his hazel green eyes narrowed into thin slits. His high yellow face was beat red. He balled up his fist, drew back and socked me hard in the face, causing me to lose balance and fall back. He didn’t stop there though. Glen took off his belt, and started whipping me all over my body. I cried out for help, as everyone sat around hyping him up. One of his homeboys yelled that he was on live. But what really broke my heart was my mother laughing and yelling, “Beat her ass Glen!”
This was my miserable ass life. Glen promised he would never hit me again. It was a few months back when I suffered a concussion and was hospitalized. I guess promises were meant to be broken.
Chapter 3
King
Satisfied that the rain slowed down, I pulled all the way inside the driveway, taking in the scenery. The lawn looked well kept, but not how my old childhood home used to look. I planned on going by my childhood home that was twenty minutes away and propositioning the folks that owned it now an offer they wouldn’t dare refuse.
I noticed my mom had planted sunflowers and roses right in the middle of the front yard. Those were her favorite flowers; my dad always bought her flowers every Friday. Twisting the front doorknob, as expected, it opened right up. Shaking my head, I entered and was smacked with the smell of soul food. My stomach grumbled as I reached the kitchen, I stood in the entry way, watching my mom hum as she stood with her back turned towards me while stirring food in one of her huge pots.
“Let me find out you in here cooking for someone other than your son, ol lady.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and she turned around slowly with tears welled in her eyes. Momma was still beautiful even she looked overwhelmed. I felt bad for staying away for so long.
“Jr. Oh, my lord…” She wiped her face and sat the spatula on the counter. Racing to be inside my arms, I embraced her tight.Inhaling her scent, I bowed my head into the nook of her neck and inhaled her floral scent. I didn’t realize until now how much I missed this woman. I refused to get emotional, but the battle was hard.
“I missed you, Jr.” She released me and looked up at me, eyes full of admiration and emotions.
“I missed you too, momma.”
She grabbed the side of my face to stroke my cheeks, I had to lean down; I was too tall for her to even get on her tippy toes to reach my face.
“I was cooking for some of the brothers and sisters from the congregation. Let me call them and tell them my baby done came home.”
“Don’t cancel your plans ma… I plan on being here for a few days anyway.”
Quickly nodding her head, we just stared at each other in silence, appreciating each other’s presence.
“You look just like your father, Jr.” She started to choke up, so she remained quiet for a bit, trying to catch herself from going down memory lane. She was used of my silence. After the night of me losing my dad, I didn’t talk much at all to anyone. I would call my mom and let her ramble on about her day. I’d throw a word in to let her know I was listening to her. But, I never talked much; I didn’t know why. My mom said it was from shock and mourning, but I didn’t think it was that. I just knew a part of me died that night, and I couldn’t get myself together.
“You know I got baptized now. I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been.” She smiled.
“Happier than when you had dad?” I asked.
It slipped out, but I wasn’t the type to take my words back. I was happy that she could find peace. A twinge of jealousy came over me because I was not happy at all with my life. In fact, I was miserable as fuck. Each day felt like I was just existing; I did shitfrom time to time to make me feel normal. I had sex on a regular from the main women I kept on rotation, never establishing no bond with none of them. I stayed on top of all operations that my dad once had, showing my face, discussing business, then leaving. I was the plug, so it wasn’t much to do. I opened several restaurants and clubs.
Southern California was really going good for me. Coming back to where I was raised made me realize that I needed to do more for out here. Our poor city looked ran down. All the corner stores and candy houses my dad once had in place were either burned down or robbed blind. I knew I needed to fix shit back up out here for my peoples. I just stayed away from here to gain some kind of sanity and peace. It had been two years, yet it still felt like two days.
Here I was battling internally, I regret so much. I couldn’t even look down at my ol man laid cold in his casket. I still battled with choosing to just drag my mom out that house that night, although I know it was what my father wanted. A million times I played that night back in my head, trying to twist and turn it. I felt I moved too slow when he first walked in the house battered and shot. Instead of sitting him down, I should’ve taken him and my mom out the house then. I was upset that he left me with little to no decision. He prepared me for everything in the world except him leaving me. I put it all on me. In my heart, I felt it was my fault. My mind should have clicked that night on what I should have done.
“Oh Jr. don’t do that to me… you know every single day, I miss your father… this happiness is different and I’m also happy with knowing your father made it out of this wicked system of things… now, it’s us who have to make it out and live right by Jehovah.”
