“Kira.” Nicolai’s tone is gentle but firm. “I’ve known you your entire life. I can see what’s happening.”
“What’s happening is that my own family has manipulated me,” I snap, standing abruptly. “What’s happening is that everyone I trust has been lying to me for months.”
“We were protecting you?—”
“Protecting me?” My voice rises despite my usual control. “By turning me into an unwitting spy? Using my engagement as a weapon against people who don’t deserve it? By not giving a fuck about me?”
“The Rossos are criminals, just like us,” Nicolai says with infuriating calm. “They’re not innocent victims.”
“That’s not the point.” I pace to the window, staring out at the lights reflected on the dark water. “The point is that I’ve been kept in the dark about a conspiracy that affects every aspect of my life. The point is that my own family doesn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
“We don’t trust anyone enough to tell them the whole truth. That’s how we survive.”
“Even family?”
“Especially family.” Nicolai’s words are quiet but cutting. “Family is where secrets matter most, because family is what enemies target first.”
I turn to face him, seeing my brother clearly for perhaps the first time. Not the protective older sibling who taught me chess and computer programming, but a man who’s learned to compartmentalize truth and lies so completely that he can’t tell the difference anymore.
“You should have told the Rossos,” I say firmly. “Should have explained the situation, asked for their help dealing with Durov.”
“And give them ammunition to use against us?” Nicolai shakes his head. “No one can be trusted outside our immediate family, Kira. That’s the first rule of survival in our world.”
“I’m not even sure that’s true anymore. None of you ever trusted me,” I reply, the words coming out before I can stop them. “Because right now, I feel more betrayed by my family than anyone else.”
Nicolai’s expression tightens. “That’s the emotional involvement I was talking about. You’re letting your feelings for Rafa Rosso cloud your judgment.”
“Maybe my feelings are the only thing giving me clarity,” I counter. “Maybe caring about someone outside this family is showing me how fucked up our version of loyalty really is.”
“Kira—”
“Don’t.” I hold up a hand to stop whatever lecture he’s preparing. “Don’t tell me about family loyalty when you’ve all have been lying to me. Don’t talk about trust when you’ve kept me ignorant of a situation that could get me killed.”
“Which is exactly why you need to stay out of this,” Nicolai says, his voice taking on an edge I recognize from childhood arguments. “Durov is dangerous in ways you don’t understand. He’s obsessed with you specifically, and that obsession makeshim unpredictable.” He drifts off. There is more he isn’t saying. But why should I be surprised? My family wants me in the dark.
“So I should just... what? Continue playing the ignorant bride while everyone else decides about my life?”
“You should let the people who understand the full scope of this situation handle it appropriately.”
“The people who got us into this mess in the first place?”
“The people who are trying to keep you alive,” Nicolai snaps, his calm finally cracking. “Durov hasn’t forgotten his original fixation on you, Kira. If he realizes you’re aware of his plans, if he thinks you’re working against him...”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but the implication hangs between us.
“Then maybe it’s time to stop letting him dictate terms,” I say quietly. “Maybe it’s time to fight back instead of just surviving.”
“Fighting back gets people killed.”
“So does submission, eventually.” I move toward the door, suddenly desperate to escape the suffocating weight of family expectations and justified betrayals. “At least fighting back means you die on your own terms.”
“Kira, wait.” Nicolai’s voice carries genuine concern now. “Promise me you won’t do anything reckless. Promise me you won’t get more involved than you already are.”
I pause with my hand on the door handle, looking back at my brother’s worried face. For a moment, I see echoes of the boy who used to read me stories when nightmares kept me awake, who taught me that knowledge was power and power was protection.
But I also see a man shaped by a world where love is weakness and trust is fatal. A man who’s learned to accept terrible compromises in the name of survival.
“I can’t promise that. Because for the first time in my life, I’ve found something worth fighting for instead of just surviving.” I say honestly.
