‘I would really very much have liked that, but I do need to go and find Rev. Ruth.’
Padam nods his understanding. ‘I’ll save it for another day.’
Malcolm collects his coat and scarf. Heading for the door, he loiters, but just as he is about to ask Padam if he would also like to join them for Christmas, Padam disappears into the stock room.
As Malcolm closes the shop door behind him and steps out into the street, the snow begins to fall.
Chapter 10
Christmas is coming
In the Market Place the fluttering flakes are beginning to settle and the passage of hurrying feet are creating crazy criss-cross patterns in the snow. Beside the large Christmas tree, the Salvation Army band is playing carols. They are surrounded by quite a crowd, some listening, some singing. Meanwhile parents with young children are being dragged backwards by the pull of small hands that would much rather be making snowballs.
Malcolm carefully makes his way along the edge of the Market Place towards the church. He has texted Ruth but, so far, he has had no response. He knows he should probably wait but he urgently wants to reassure her that all is well with their Christmas plans, so he decides to pop into the rectory on the off-chance that she is there. As he nears the church, he catches the flicker of candlelight in the windows. Maybe she is preparing for a service? There is no sound of music or singing, so Malcolm risks opening the door very gently. All is quiet, yet he can immediately tell that there are people in the church. He slowly makes his way forward, careful that his Lobb boot heels don’t sound on the stone. The church is aglow with candlelight and the shimmer from the Christmas tree lights. He spots Rev. Ruth at the front of a small congregation; she is speaking but her words do not carry. Then comes the sound of the piano. He wonders briefly why they are not using the organ, and then the plaintive and haunting music reaches out and touches something within him. It is at once sad and soothing. Almost without thinking, he sits in one of the pews at the back of the church, listening. Despite this being Christmas, and a church, the festive world seems a long way away. The noises from outside hushed by the falling snow.
Malcolm is still sitting there when the congregation leaves. Glen, the church warden whom he knows from the Historical Society raises a hand in salute as he passes. The rest of the people are an unlikely mix of churchgoers, some old, some young, and he suspects from a complete mix of backgrounds. Rev. Ruth has moved forward, and each person shakes her hand, and some hold her in a brief embrace. It is only when the last person has left that she spots Malcolm, sitting in the shadows. Unhurriedly she comes forward and he moves along so she can join him on the pew. Neither say anything, but she puts her arm through his.
Eventually Malcolm takes a deep breath. ‘I wanted to come and apologize to you for not being in touch, Ruth, and for not opening the door to the carol singers yesterday.’
Some of her lightness and humour seems to return to her. ‘Ha! So youwerein. Were you hiding from me behind the sofa?’
‘Not quite that,’ Malcolm replies, giving her arm a squeeze. ‘But I had got myself into a bit of fuss about our Christmas plans. But before we talk about that, may I ask you what service you have just taken?’
‘Of course. There are many people who find Christmas a very difficult time. Maybe they have just lost someone, or their memories of Christmas are painful and filled with more anguish than joy.’ She tips her head to one side, as if remembering. ‘Every year I hold a service based on quiet contemplation rather than our normal rousing celebration. You can imagine if Christmas brings you grief, you don’t want to be surrounded by – what is it you call it – all that do-goodery.’
Before Malcolm can respond, she rests her head on his arm. ‘Have I upset you, Malcolm? You know it is the last thing I would want to do.’
‘No, Ruth. I just got myself in a muddle. I wanted to give you a peaceful and restful Christmas, with lots of nice food and drink. And I made the mistake of excluding anyone else from that, forgetting that it would make you happy to include others.’
‘Oh, Malcolm, that is the kindest thing. And Iwillappreciate the treat …’ She strokes his arm, ‘… and having you look after me.’ She looks up at him. ‘If you really mind including more people, we can reorganize things somehow.’
‘No, absolutely not. Anyway,’ he says, with a chuckle, ‘I’ve invited the Three Disgraces now. You try and take that invitation back!’
Ruth sits a little straighter, ‘Oh how fabulous. I love those three. We really are in for a bit of a party. And you’re sure you don’t mind?’ she finishes, anxiously.
‘Not at all.’ He pauses, ‘Joanne came to see me and she made me realize that, of course, at Christmas you would want to gather people about you who might be alone or missing out in some way.’
‘That does include me, you know Malcolm. I am one of the ones who is sometimes lost and alone.’
He looks at her curiously. He has never viewed her in this light before. And what about him? Couldn’t he say the same about himself?
Ruth continues, ‘So, I feel it isn’t so much about someone providing a treat – although of course it will be a huge one. I think it’s that we come together, whoever we are, and it shows that we are all part of God’s family. All God’s children.’ She glances up at him ‘But you will tell me I’m talking nonsense, of course.’
He smiles down at her. ‘I do believe you would be disappointed if I didn’t.’
Rev. Ruth swipes one hand like someone playing table tennis. ‘Too right,’ she proclaims. She settles back more easily in the pew. ‘But you must have your own view of Christmas, Malcolm? I gather it was important to you and your mother?’
‘Yes,’ he says slowly. ‘We had our own traditions.’ He thinks of books they read and of the cocktails they drank together. ‘Maybe we didn’t have the carols, but we certainly celebrated with food and – I suppose – words.’ He murmurs, ‘On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me …’
Ruth smiles and nods, ‘Do you remember that Christmas Eve, drinking cocktails with Karl Marx?’
‘Of course, and Joanne appearing through the snow.’ Malcolm tips his own head, so it is touching the top of Ruth’s head. ‘You had known she would come.’
‘I didn’t know, but I did hope,’ she says. ‘It was the most wonderful time.’
‘It certainly was.’
‘My father and I used to sing carols,’ Malcolm continues reflectively. ‘It isn’t that we didn’t go to church. It was just …’
