He put his head in his hands. “I wouldn’t have. I don’t think I would have. I don’t know. I’m a fucking mess.”
“How much debt are you in? Is that why you need me?”
"40K, plus interest.” He hung his head. “But no, that’s not why I want you. Yes, I would have used your money to pay back the loan, but I’d never have taken half. I never planned to leave you.”
“You’re a damned fool, Mason. You spent $40K in four months? How did you ever think I wouldn’t notice that? Get some help. I’m not saying that to be vindictive. I’m saying that because a man who goes into that level of debt to invest in an ego boost needs help. You never went into debt for me, nor did I expect you to. You need therapy.”
“I’m going home to Mom’s. She is furious with me, but I’m going to change. I’ll come back to you a better man,” he promised.
“Don’t come back at all,” Anna said in disbelief. “I don’t want you. I’ll never want you. Better yourself foryou, Mason, but don’t imagine for one second I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“It’s him, isn’t it? Shane?”
“Yes and no. Yes, I’m with him now, but we’re taking it slow. And no, I don’t need an external reason to not ever want you back. I’d be alone for the rest of my life rather than be with you. Shane is a beautiful part of my life, but he’s not the whole happy ending.”
Ah! Knives located. She took the knives out of the drawer and Mason took a step back.
“Relax Tiger Woods. I’m not angry enough to stab you. I’m barely angry at all anymore. Been there, done that. Time to move on,” she said.
“Tiger Woods? I don’t like golf,” he said, confused.
“No, but you’re a fucking cheater.”
He looked at the floor, rising up on his toes and then rocking back on his heels.
“I’m outta here. You can have all the furniture. Sell it to pay your debts. Don’t imagine the sofa will sell for much though,” she retorted.
Anna reached into her purse and pulled out a small box, placing it on the bench as she left the kitchen.
“Sell the ring,” she said, not unkindly. “Pay some of your debts so Marla doesn’t have to put up with you for longer than she has to.”
As she strode to the front door, leaving her former life, she felt strong. She felt whole. She didn’t even turn back when she heard Mason’s sobs. It was over.
Mason
All my bridges are now burned, he thought. He’d lost Anna. Forever. She wasn’t coming back. She could barely be bothered speaking to him. Her flat tone hurt more than her words. He apparently wasn’t even worth her anger anymore.
He stared at the ring through his tears, remembering when he had proposed. His whole heart had been in it, and that hadn’t ever really changed. That was a problem. Anna was right. How could he love one woman so much and mess around with another on the side? Ego. Pure ego, vanity, and pride. If he was honest with himself, he’d known that from the start. His pride had come before Anna. He’d opted to self-medicate for his own insecurities rather than prioritize the woman he wanted as his wife. He wished that the Incredible Hulk had at least punched him that day in the car park. He deserved some physical pain.
He looked at the ring again. There is no way he could bring himself to sell it. If he still had the ring, he still had his link toAnna. He’d keep the ring, he decided. He’d rather sell his car than sell his last connection to Anna.
He was reminded of his mother’s favorite Shakespeare quotes. It was really about alcoholism, and Marla had often quoted it to Uncle Colin, but it also fit him and his stupid pride:
To be now a sensible man, by and by a fool, and presently a beast!
A fool and a beast indeed.
Chapter 26: Mason—Resignations and pubic confessions
He was officially fucked. He’d lost his fiancée, his future, and was about to quit his job. He’d also lost his girlfriend, but that was a cause for celebration and relief. He couldn’t fathom coming in every day and seeing April, the cause of his demise.I’m the cause of my own demise, he thought.It was me. He’d seen her a few times at work since the break-up and she was disgusted by him. Fine. He was disgusted by her. He couldn’t remember even one thing about her that used to attract him. Now that she’d taken to ignoring him and not flattering his ego, she wasn’t appealing at all.
He dragged his feet to Kate’s office to deliver his resignation in person. He rushed through it, telling Kate he needed to move in with his mother to support her through a hip operation.
“Sure, Mason. Well, your sales figures have always been good. We’ll miss your professional contribution,” she said sharply, returning to her computer screen. Conversation over, apparently.
While he was placing his meagre personal possessions in a box, Lilah wandered over, a triumphant look in her eye.
“Heard you’re leaving. I wanted to say goodbye.”
