“I have found her.” His anguished eyes peered into my own. “She lives and breathes in front of me this very moment. I wish I could write myself to be the man you deserve. But we are not my characters, and as much as I wish it, I know I’m not the man you need.”
“You’re wrong,” my voice cracked. “You’ve been the man I needed since the day you came into my life. No man has ever treated me with such deference. You have made me feel like your equal despite our very different financial situations. More importantly, you helped me recognize my worth. And the way you’ve treated my daughter has meant more to me than you will ever know. I know you aren’t a perfect man, but you are a good man. I see it in everything you do for Henry, Chloe, and me. And maybe it’s not your nature to think of others before yourself, but you are trying and that in and ofitself says more about who you really are. It makes you the man I not only need, but want.”
His entire body shook, but not from the cold, it was as if he could hardly believe what I was saying. “I don’t want to try only to end up failing you. I won’t hurt you.”
I released a heavy breath. My hopes were dashed. “If that’s how you feel, then you already have. I’ll work for you until you can find a nanny to replace me,” I could barely say it through the raw emotion coursing through me and pouring down my face. The thought of leaving Henry and Miles was a pain I had never known.
Miles took my hand. “Aspen, please reconsider. Henry needs you. I need you. We can remain friends.”
“No, Miles, we can’t. I’m always going to want to be more than your friend. And I want to be more than needed. I need to be wanted. I deserve a man who will risk it all for me.”
“You are mistaken if you don’t think that I want you. I have never wanted anyone more. If I could, I would give anything to be with you.”
“Then give anything.”
He gave me a pained stare. His beautiful chest was raising and lowering at a mad pace.
I waited and watched him shiver in the cold. His mouth parted several times as if he was going to speak, but in the end, he walked away. I didn’t watch him go. I refused to witness another man walking away from me.
“Are yougoing to put Henry down today?” Emma asked while we were doing backward jogging with the girls to help them warm up before the game.
The answer was no. I was never putting him down even though he was getting heavy. I was going to snuggle him every second until he got a new nanny. Stabbing pain in my heart accompanied that thought. Which induced more tears. I felt like I’d cried all day.
Emma tugged on my arm and stopped jogging. “Will you please talk to me?”
I had been refusing to since we arrived. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t even told Chloe yet. Even though she knew something was wrong, she was so disappointed Miles wasn’t coming with us after he promised he would be here.
Emma pulled me to the side. “Aspen, what’s going on? Where’s Miles?”
“Probably still locked up in his office.” Oscar and Molly had informed me that as soon as he came back into the house after our little discussion, he ran straight up to Henry’s room and promised him he would make it all better before asking Molly to bring Henry to me. Then he warned them all not to bother him and shut himself in his office.
“What happened between you two?”
“I told him the truth about how I feel, and he doesn’t want to try,” I blubbered. “I think it’s time to have a cockroach named after him.”
Emma went to hug me, but instead looked over my shoulder and grinned. “You might want to hold off on that.”
“Why?”
She pointed behind me. “Because your boss is headed our way. And, dang, does he look good. He’s got the DavidBeckham vibe going on in that stocking cap and tight jeans. Me-ow.” She unceremoniously took Henry out of my arms.
“Hey, give him back.”
She flashed me a devious smile. “I have a feeling you aren’t going to want anyone between the two of you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I disagreed.
“I don’t think I’m the wrong one here. Turn around.”
Like a child, I refused. Emma nudged me, though, until I complied. Holy mother, she was right, and I wasn’t very happy about it. I didn’t need him looking like a walking men’s cologne commercial. Suddenly the forty-degree weather felt like the Bahamas. Emma pushed me forward. “Go.”
I couldn’t move. I was completely mesmerized by the man walking with a purpose holding a black folder in his hand. Did he bring his manuscript with him?
My mom interfered. She maneuvered her way down the bleachers, waving her report at Miles. “Oh good, you came. Aspen said you wouldn’t be here.”
I cringed.
Miles paused to speak to her at the edge of the field. I couldn’t hear what he said, but he pointed in my direction and Mom nodded before looking my way and giving me two thumbs up. Not sure what that meant. I was about to find out.
