Great, now I got to crush her in her moment of joy. I took her hands, remembering how they were once tiny and kissable. I didn’t think she would appreciate me kissing them now. Instead, I held onto them tight. “Honey, there is no easy way for me to say this, so I’m just going to say it,” I rushed my words. “I saw your dad today,” I half mumbled.
Her trembling chin said she’d heard me loud and clear.
“He’s moved back to Colorado,” I added.
Her eyes began to water, making mine do the same. I pulled her to me and stroked her damp hair. I could feel her tears wet my shoulder.
“Do I have to see him?”
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“Does he want to see me?” her voice quivered.
“Yes,” I said quickly to soothe her aching heart.
Her shoulders relaxed against me. “But I can choose?” she needed me to reiterate.
“Yes, baby girl.”
She nestled into me like she was little. I loved it, but my heart ached for her.
“Why did he come back?” she begged to know.
I so badly wanted to tell her it was because of her, but I wasn’t sure. I hated Leland more than ever, but I knew I could never let her know that. Despite how awful he was, my little girl was half of him. I couldn’t tell her I despised part of her. But I knew I had to tell her the truth because odds were Leland would hurt and disappoint her again. And the higher her hopes got, the harder they would fall.
“He got a job with an old friend of his.” That was the truth. There was some other truth I needed to let her know too. “You should also know that you have a baby half-sister.”
She pulled away from me. Her red eyes were blinking rapidly, trying to process this unexpected piece of news. I felt guilty that I hadn’t told her sooner, but the way Leland told me had crushed me. He basically told me he loved his new wife and daughter more than he ever loved Chloe and me. But he lied. He loved no one but himself. Now my heart profoundly broke for his other victims.
“Is she here too?”
“I think she lives in Texas with her mom.”
Chloe’s eyebrows squished together. “How come?”
Istruggled a bit to find the right words because all the words that kept coming to me were riddled with four-letter words. “Your dad didn’t say.”
“Oh.” She looked down at her lap.
“Honey, tell me what you’re feeling.”
She fiddled with her hands that were graced with multiple shades of bright fingernail polish, a different color for each fingernail. “Why did he leave me and his new baby?” It wasn’t the first time she’d asked this question.
I took her fidgeting hands in my own and held onto them for dear life. “Look at me, Chloe.”
Her wet eyes drifted up. I peered as deeply into them as I could, hoping she would believe what I was going to say. “He didn’t leave because of you. He didn’t leave because of me.” I needed to believe that more than anyone. “He didn’t leave his new wife and daughter because of them either. His choices are his own. I don’t know why your dad does the things he does. But I know that despite his choices, we can be happy. You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I’m so happy you’re mine.” I kissed her forehead and lingered for a moment.
She wrapped her thin arms around me. “I love you.”
“I love you more.” I held her as tight as I could.
“Can I meet my sister?”
Oh. I wasn’t ready for that one. I leaned back. “I don’t know,” I responded, dazed. “Maybe?”
“I think I would like that.” She gave me a small smile.
“Then I’ll see what I can do.” I swallowed hard. “You should get back to studying. Do you need any help?”
