I stared at it for a second, then started typing back.
Me:I’m up. I can’t believe this. Yes, let’s do prints. Tell me what you need from me.
Before I could hit send, my phone started ringing in my hand. I cringed when I saw that it was Kodi. He’d been texting and calling all weekend. I’d ignored every attempt. I’d been away for days, and Joi had been with my kids, so I knew it was obvious to him now that I was with a man. And Kodi could feel himself getting replaced. That was why he was blowing my phone up like this.
I stared at his name flashing across the screen until it stopped.
But then Kodi’s name flashed across my screen again.
I stared at it for a second, breathing through the irritation.
I understood his frustration. I’d been with Kodi for twelve years. It had to be hard for him to picture me with anyone else. For most of our lives, it had been me and him in some form, even when we weren’t together. I would’ve felt guilty if I never gave him the opportunity to mature and grow with me. But I did. I gave him twelve years, and he didn’t do anything with them but sell dime bags of weed and stay stuck in the same mindset. Still, twelve years is history. Kodi was like family. That was what made this worse. I hated that we weren’t getting along. I wanted us to be cool. I wanted us to co-parent without all of this tension.
So, I answered. “Yes, Kodi?”
“So, you been fucking somebody this whole time?”
“Kodi,” I called calmly. “I’m not doing this with you.”
“That’s why you stopped fucking with me! You think I’m stupid?”
“I’m not arguing with you, Kodi. Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t we get along for the kids?”
He laughed. “You want us to be cool? You’ve been mine for most of our lives. Ain’t no switching up.”
“That’s my problem with you,” I said. “You’re immature. You don’t own me.”
“Yes, I do,” he shot back.
“No, you don’t. And you didn’t take care of me like you owned me. You didn’t love me like you owned me. You just wanted access when it was convenient.”
“I was a good nigga. I took care of you and my kids,” he argued.
“You did the best you could for us. You showed up. You provided in the way you knew how. I won’t take that from you. But you didn’t support me emotionally. You didn’t build with me. You didn’t grow. Taking care of a family means maturing. It means realizing those small hustles aren’t going to take care of a woman and two kids forever.”
He cut me off. “Man, shut up with all that bullshit.”
I laughed to myself quietly. “And your response is the reason we are not together...”
But, of course, he ignored that point. “So, who is he? Who you letting hit? That’s why you talking to me like this now.”
I exhaled slowly. “This isn’t about another man. This is about me being done with us. I love you for the history we have. I love you because you’re the father of my kids. I want us to get along for them. That’s it.”
“Your new nigga and this art shit got you thinking you the shit. You done changed.”
I groaned under my breath. “Kodi, you’re not listening. I hope you grow up one day. I hope it’s soon. Because I would like for us to be friends. For real.”
“We willneverbe friends,” he growled. “And you and that pussy willalwaysbelong to me.”
Disgusted, I scoffed. “Goodbye, Kodi.”
I ended the call amid him cursing me out. “Fuck you, Rhy—"
I sat there breathing hard, trying to collect myself. I refused to let Kodi ruin the dreamy weekend I’d just had, but remorse crept in anyway.
For years, I’d dreamed about me and Kodi finally getting to a place where we weren’t robbing Peter to pay Paul. I wanted stability. I wanted ease. I wanted to stop doing mental math at the grocery store and stop pushing off big purchases because something always came up.
And back when I loved him the way you love somebody you built your whole life around, my dreams included him too. When I used to imagine my art blowing up, I pictured taking that money and helpingbothof our lives change for the better. I pictured us growing up together.
