The heater blew warm air up my legs, and the heated seats massaged my back. My body relaxed in the seat even as my brain stayed on high alert, tracking every small slide of the tires on the slick street.
“The party was a lot.” I could tell that he was trying to start a conversation to keep himself awake.
“It was. Seeing Slick and Ace say they’re sitting down… I don’t know. It’s good. It’s sad. It’s… a lot, like you said.”
“Yeah. It won’t be the same without them around as much.”
I turned my head to study his profile. The streetlights painted his face in gold and shadows. He looked tipsy, but angelic. “Sterling and Eloise would be proud of you too.”
His jaw flexed for a second. “I hope so.”
We fell quiet again as the radio played something soft and sexy. My eyelids felt heavy, but my mind wouldn’t sit still. It kept bouncing between the memory of Saint and Zahra on the dance floor, Legend with his hand on Aria’s back, Tempo laughing with Big A, and Livia tucked under Icon’s arm.
All of them had somebody and a home to call their own.
Sincere turned onto his block and pulled into his driveway. The tires crunched slowly over the thin layer of snow.
He shifted into park but didn’t turn the car off. For a moment, we just sat there with the engine humming and the snow falling on the windows.
“You okay?” he asked again, but softer this time.
I let out a slow breath. “I don’t know. It was a good night. But it’s also… Watching everybody you love have somebody to go home with and knowing I’m going to a guest room alone is a… lonely feeling.”
His hand rested on his thigh. I stared at it, then forced my eyes up. “You’re not alone there.”
“I know, and I’m grateful. Saint and Zahra have done more for me than I can ever repay. Sometimes I still feel like I’m just…floating, like my life isn’t as fulfilled as everyone else’s around me. I’m not in school anymore. I’m single. I’m living in my sister’s house with her husband.”
He looked at me. “After everything that happened to you, you’re still you and showing up for people. That’s not floating. That’s fighting.”
“You say nice things when you’re drunk,” I teased.
“I say nice things to you all the time. You just don’t always listen.”
We smiled at each other, and then the smile faded out into something else. The car felt smaller and warmer suddenly. Then, it felt too quiet, even with the radio on.
His eyes dropped to my mouth for half a second. My heart picked up. I should have looked away, but I didn’t.
He leaned in just a little. Not all the way, just close enough that I could feel his breath and smell the faint mix of liquor and mint on it, close enough that if I moved an inch, our lips would brush.
“Ava,” he summoned with a tone that set me on fire, even in the midst of the falling snow.
“Sincere,” I nearly moaned.
I could no longer breathe, wondering if the moment I had been fantasizing about was about to suddenly happen. Part of me was so hungry for it. I wanted to forget every rule for one second and see what it felt like to finally be with the man of my dreams. The other part kept seeing Zahra, Tempo, Aria, and Livia’s face.
I pulled back first.
“We can’t,” I blurted.
He paused, then leaned back slowly, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Yeah… I know.”
My heart hammered. My cheeks burned. I stared down at my hands knotted in my lap. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to.I just… I can’t do that to Tempo or the rest of the family. Tempo’s like my sister, and even though she’s moved on, it wouldn’t look right, and I would never want to hide anything from them.”
“I agree.”
I took a breath and decided I might as well be honest. “I’ve always had feelings for you, even when you were with Tempo and especially after. I just kept it to myself because I knew it was wrong.”
He stared at me with eyes softer than I expected. “I know.”
