For a second, I wanted to fight it, wanted to yell at her, make her leave, but the way she looked at me, like she saw right through the bullshit, I couldn’t. I couldn’t lose her either, no matter how hard I tried to push her away. So, I just sat there, staring at the only person who proved there was some good left in me.
I hated the hold she had on me. It was smart to make her leave, to give her to a nigga who was better for her, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t understand how she could still want me after everything. Without thinking, I grabbed her face, pulling her close, and kissed her hard. It wasn’t gentle. It was messy and full of anger and confusion. Her lips trembled under mine, and I could feel the desperation in the way I kissed her, trying to push her away with the same force I was pulling her in.
She winced when my hand brushed against the bruise on her cheek.
I froze, my breath ragged. I pulled back just enough to look at her, still gripping her face. “You want me to stop?”
Her eyes locked on mine, and without missing a beat, she whispered, “No. Please don’t.”
That was all I needed. I kissed her again, this time slower, but the heat, the hunger between us, didn’t fade.
“Please don’t ever leave me.”
Her need made me yearn for her. I flipped her over and hovered on top of her. As I positioned my dick at her center, she held my face. As she cupped my beard, her fingers laced into the curly dark hairs.
“Don’t ever leave me,” she pleaded as I slowly pushed into her walls.
She gasped a bit, eyes widening from the stretch my entrance caused. “I promise I won’t ever leave my home.”
Aviana was my home. She was the only place I felt at peace, like I could finally breathe. Everything about her grounded me and made me feel like I belonged somewhere. She completed me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. She was it for me. I had fantasized about her for years, watching her from a distance, aching to make her mine again. And yet, I let another man mishandle her, but I planned to fix everything he broke. Every crack, every piece of her that had been shattered, I was going to put her back together, piece by perfect piece.
DAMAR SCOTT
The clanging of the cell doors echoed down the block as the correctional officer slid them open for the hour of free time. I watched Bear step out, barely glancing my way. He grunted at the CO and disappeared into the dayroom. I should’ve been moving too, but I didn’t.
Once Bear was out of sight, I got up and quietly pushed the cell door back until it clicked shut. My hands were shaking, but I was intent.
I grabbed the sheet off my bunk. It was thin and worn. I started twisting it, wrapping it up as tight as I could, turning it into a rope. Every knot I made, I felt this strange sense of calm creeping in, like this was the only answer left for me.
I tied one end of the sheet around the top of the metal bunk frame. I made sure that it was secure, pulling it hard so it would hold. My fingers were numb, but I kept going, tying the other end into a noose. I stared at it for a second, feeling my throat close, but it wasn’t from fear. It was like I was ready, like this was the only way to stop the unbearable fear and dread.
I climbed onto the bunk, slipped the loop over my head, and tightened it around my neck. My chest thudded with each beat,but I felt numb all over. Everything around me blurred as I stood there, on the edge of ending it all.
I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t just the thought of spending the rest of my life in this cell that was eating me alive. Living under Bear’s control, knowing every day was gonna be hell with him, was torture I couldn’t face. I already knew what was coming. Bear didn’t know who I was yet, but he would. Word would get around soon enough. He was 111 Boyz through and through, and once he heard my name and learned what I had done, it was game over. He wouldn’t just beat me down; he’d make it a daily thing. I’d be his punching bag until I couldn’t take another hit.
The thought of waking up every day in this cell, living under the shadow of this man was nerve ending. I was already living with the guilt of everything I had done to Aviana, to Mia, to my son. Now, on top of that, I had to live under Bear’s boot. I’d rather end it here, on my own terms, before he turned my life into a living nightmare.
I felt the pressure around my neck, tighter with each passing second, my breath coming in short gasps. My heart was pounding like it was trying to fight its way out of my chest. This was it. I was supposed to let go and just let it happen.
But as the seconds ticked by, panic started to creep in. I felt the world closing in, the air getting thinner, and suddenly, I couldn’t do it. My body wouldn’t let me. I yanked at the sheet, my hands shaking, fingers scrambling to untie the knot. Tears started streaming down my face before I even realized I was crying.
I pulled the noose off and collapsed onto the bunk, gasping for air, my whole body trembling. I couldn’t even end it. And now I had to face the reality of what was left. Sixty years in this place. Sixty years with Bear controlling every damn minute of my life. Sixty years of hell.
It all came crashing down, and I couldn’t stop the audible sobs that racked my body. There was no escape for me. No way out. I was stuck in this nightmare, and the worst part was I knew I deserved every second of it.
I’d destroyed lives, betrayed the people I cared about, and now I was paying for it. But the payment wasn’t death. It wasn’t the easy way out I’d tried to take. My punishment was living through it, every single miserable day, trapped in this cell, under Bear’s thumb, until the day I finally truly couldn’t take it anymore.
And by then, nobody would care. No one would remember me, or what I did, or why I ended up here. I’d just be another forgotten soul.
AVIANA SCOTT
I stayed lying in bed all day. The soft light of the afternoon streamed in through the blinds. I couldn’t fathom what I had gone through last night, but I was still here, breathing, and I thanked God for that. I could’ve been gone, but I made it through. My heart went out to Mythic, though. He hadn’t slept much since it happened because he was still weighed down by the guilt of it all. I felt so sorry for his regret and worry.
I should’ve been scared. Most women in my position probably would be, but I wasn’t. That’s when I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be—with him. I’d ignored all of the doubts I had about Damar, and I paid for it. I should’ve listened to myself back then. But with Mythic, I didn’t have those doubts. I didn’t feel unsure. He was the man I was meant to be with.
As the day went by, I realized that I hadn’t talked to my parents, and that was strange. One of them usually called every day, but it had been silence since yesterday. I knew my fatherwas pissed, and he’d probably told my mother. I could feel their disappointment without even talking to them.
