I nodded slowly. My lips curled into something that looked like love, but inside me, it was hollow. Damar was a good man. He was willing to fight for what we had.
But my heart was somewhere else—with someone who made me feel like I couldn’t breathe without him.
Someone who wasn’t my husband.
And no matter how many steps Damar took toward me, I kept drifting farther away.
A few hours later, Damar and I met Mia at Enchant. As soon as we walked through the doors, we went our separate ways so that he could get to work.
Mythic owned the nightclub Enchant while Damar promoted parties there. Damar had been a very successful and popular promoter in Chicago since he’d graduated from college. In the last few years, he’d expanded from promoting small parties to building a full-fledged, lucrative business in the nightlife scene. What started with handing out flyers and hosting club nights had evolved into securing major venues, booking big talent, and locking in sponsorships. His name held weight now in clubs and in other lanes too. He had his hands in event production, brand partnerships, and even upscale private experiences for high-end clients.
When Mythic opened Enchant, Damar was obsessed with getting entertainment control. He had explained that the club was new and hot because of Mythic’s street fame, so he had to have a piece.
On the second floor, Mia and I swayed our exaggerated curves along to the beat of the latest rap songs while looking down on the sea of clubbers from our appointed VIP section.
Mia’s curves were exaggerated because she had gotten implants and fat transfers applied to a slim, petite frame. Those surgeries had been funded by the money she’d been stealing from Dream Realty. My curves were exaggerated because I was two-hundred and sixty-five pounds on a five-foot-four-inch frame. Though I was a big girl, I wasn’t ashamed of my curves. I had never been kicked out of any man’s bed because of my weight. Eachpound was well proportioned on my short frame, and most of the weight was in my lower body, leaving me with a much smaller upper torso in comparison. However, the new wave of perfect, manufactured bodies with tiny stomachs and invisible waistlines stirred some insecurities every once in a while.
As we danced to the beats and sipped from the bottles of liquor sent over by Mythic, I couldn’t shake the knot of nerves in my chest as I spotted him making his way toward us. Suddenly, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. His presence was intense, commanding attention without even trying. I found myself holding my breath, and my heart raced the closer he came.
Mia shot me a teasing glance. “Here comes your boo.”
I glared at the way she was having so much fun with my misery.
Mythic and I shared a history—one that still haunted me despite the time that had passed. Mia, Mythic, and I had been best friends since high school and were from the same neighborhood. I’d fallen hard and fast for Mythic back then. I’d fantasized about him since meeting him in algebra class freshman year. Junior year, Mythic and I had finally become more than just friends. When he started to flirt with me, I was floored. He had stolen my heart, especially because he was so willing to openly date such a big girl. At seventeen, I didn’t even fully understand what love was supposed to feel like, but I knew with him, it was different. Despite his rough exterior, he was attentive, loving, and kind when it came to me. He had this way of making me feel seen, like I was the only person in the room and the only one who mattered. And for the first time, I felt truly safe, like nothing could touch me as long as he was around. When so many immature boys were teasing me about my weight, he adored it and made me feel like the most beautiful, sexy girl in the school.
There was this fire between us that I couldn’t put words to at the time. All I knew was he made me feel alive, protected, and wanted in a way I had never felt before. He was always making sure I felt loved, even in the smallest ways.
He reminded me of my father in that way, always doting on me, making me feel cherished. It was like he had this instinct to protect me, and I loved him for it. Back then, I couldn’t put a label on it, but now I know that was real love, the kind that wraps around you and doesn’t let go. He was the first person to show me what love should feel like, and I’d never forgotten that.
But then he shattered my heart into a million pieces. My parents had always disapproved of our relationship. Mythic’s dangerous reputation was well-known in our neighborhood. My parents saw him as an immature troublemaker who would never be right for their daughter. He proved them right when he cheated on me. My young heart was shattered. Despite my obsession with him, my adolescent mind told me that I had to let him go.
I would have never thought that Mythic would still have the ability to take my breath away thirteen years later. He had been the first to penetrate me and the last to ever truly have my heart. Every time I saw him, it was like reopening an old wound, and the yearning and obsession was still raw beneath the surface. Unfortunately, I saw him often. After he and I broke up, he, Mia, and I remained in a tight-knit circle. Being so young, I transformed my heartache into hate for the type of man he was romantically. I swore that he would never be a good man for any woman. I treated him like a playboy, but I continued to long for him. Yet, the fear of being hurt again always held me back and pushed me to pour my attention and love into Damar when I met him three years after breaking up with Mythic.
Luckily, Damar, an older man, who was ready to settle down, had been there to pick up the pieces of my heart. Even while Damarcourted me, I secretly pined for Mythic. But Damar countlessly proved to be the more practical choice. He was career-driven and more mature. Meanwhile, Mythic was in the streets, surrounded by women with a focus on his hustle. So, I easily married Damar five years later. But I shamefully never fell out of love with Mythic.
As I watched as Mythic approached, my pulse pounded in my ears. Everything about his six-foot-six towering frame had indecent effects on me. Everything about this man was delicious. My love for him was unreasonable.
As Mythic approached our VIP section, I could feel my heart rate skyrocketing, despite my best efforts to remain composed. His presence always had that effect on me—like a magnet pulling me in, no matter how hard I tried to resist.
“What’s good, Mia?” he greeted, giving her a playful side-eye as she poured another drink. “You getting started already, I see.”
Mia laughed while playfully rolling her eyes. “You sent them over here for us to drink, right?” she shot back.
They went back and forth for a minute, just clowning like they always did. The whole time, my heart was dancing wildly.
When his attention finally shifted to me, everything else fell away. His eyes locked on mine. It felt like the whole world disappeared and it was just us standing there. All that energy, all that charm focused on me, and I couldn’t help but feel his pull on my heart. No matter how hard I tried to play it cool, he always saw right through me.
“Hey, Avi,” he greeted me with that signature smirk that sent shivers down my spine. “Found me any condos in the area yet?”
I raised an eyebrow in suspicion as I was forced to tilt my head all the way back in order to look up into his eyes.
He mysteriously chuckled. “What’s that look for?”
“You have a beautiful home in the suburbs. What do you need a condo in the city for?”
His smirk widened into a grin as he leaned in closer, his warm breath tickling my ear. “You know me, gotta have a place in every corner of the city.”
I chuckled at his cryptic response. “And what’s the price point you’re looking for?”
